These Go To Eleven

RECESSIONS ARE FOR SUCKERS!

2008-10-25T23:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, so about 13 months ago I went in fifty-fifty with my parents on an old beat up house that needed a lot of work. Got it at a great price and thought we could fix it up, sell it and hopefully make a little money. Thought we could get it done in 6 months. Boy were we wrong. And in case you were wondering, this is what it looked like when we bought it.

And after 13 long months of hard work (and I might remind you there was a wedding, the MS150 and a few full time jobs mixed in there to spice things up), long weekends and several near death experiences, this is what she looks like today ...
Very late in the process we decided to take the vinyl siding off and take our chances on the original wood siding being in good condition. To our delight it was almost perfectly preserved under a laying of vinyl siding and another layer of composite siding. By this point though we were very tired and cranky so we hired out to our friend David Lewis the job of restoring all the wood siding and then outfitting it with its new coat of paint. Also, if you'll notice the porch looks different now. The previous owners had built a railing around the porch. But originally the house had the low wall built around the columns that you see in the updated picture. It looks so much better rebuilt the way it once was.

Upon entering the front door you would have been faced with something like this ... This picture was actually taken after I opened the wall up to find the entire old chimney still behind the wall. This doesn't look like much but that brick chimney went up into the attic and all the way to the top of the house. The fireplace was gas burning and the chimney had been out of commission for so long that a new roof had been built over the top so it was not visible from the outside. This thing was very dangerous as it rose over 25 feet from the floor of the house and leaned at an angle in the attic. I had to climb to the top of a ladder in the attic and with a sledge hammer slowly knock the bricks off so that they fell down the chimney and not through the floor of the attic/ceiling of house. Needless to say this was not an easy job. This is another picture of the fireplace area before the chimney came down.

We reused the mantle we found when we bought the house and with a little tile and wood work it finally came out like this ...

They say that kitchens and bathrooms sell houses. So we made sure we did some good work in these areas. Here is the view from the dining area into the kitchen when we got the house ...

Note the awesome tin facade on the front of the bar area. There were also 4 layers of flooring in this kitchen that had to be pulled up to get the floor back to the same level as the rest of the house. This area was completely gutted. The cabinets were taken out and that crazy bar was torn down. And this is what it looks like today ...

The bathroom in this baby was not a pretty situation. It was also completely gutted down to the studs and floor joists. After pulling up the old tile floor I found the subfloor to be completely rotted from a leak in the sink. This bathroom was completely rebuilt from the bottom up. New tub, new vanity and mirror, new tile in shower and on floor. And after it was all done it looked like this ...

The house originally had 2 bedrooms and 1 bath. We added an additional bath and master closet to make it a 2/2. This is the finished master bath.

The master bedroom room looked like this ...

And now it looks like this ...

I should note that this house had either nasty carpet, rippled laminate or busted tile floors when we bought it. Under the carpet and laminate we found the original pine floors. Pine floors are not the best but they can be made to look pretty good with the right amount of attention. Almost all the floors had several layers of paint which made the process of stripping the floors very difficult. Our friend David took on this task and as you can see in the about picture he did a very good job bringing these floors back to life.

If you went out the back door a year ago this is what you would have seen.

This house along with 3 others on this street has a well in the backyard. Unfortunately the well house was in a little bit of disrepair. I did a little work on it and now it looks like this.

And finally the house had a very strange addition on the back. It did not help the overall look of the house and did not provide any useable space on the inside so our first project was to tear this thing down. During the process it looked like this.

Behind that blue wall is where the master bath and master closet were built. And in place of that pile of rubble we built a brand new deck. I built the base of the deck and then had to take some time off for the wedding and honeymoon. When I got back I found the entire deck had been finished by my step dad and step brother. They did an excellent job. See for yourself.

This thing was a huge project that at many times made me think, "what in the world have I done?" I got into this for a few reasons. First of all I like doing the work ... at least most of it ... and it was a great chance to take a project and completely transform the look of this property. It was fun doing that. Secondly it was a great opportunity to make money. We bought this house for a great price, were fairly good about working with a budget and in the end we will come out making some good cash. And thirdly ... when we bought this house I had a specific purchase in mind that I needed cash for. So I jumped at this opportunity and when this thing sells I'm proud to say that my wife will have a completely paid for engagement ring and wedding band.

Now there are a lot of aspects to taking on something like this and coming out in the end with some money in your pocket. We bought it right, did good work to transform the look of the house in a way that it was marketable, we worked hard selling the house once it was finished and finally I'm proud to say (although let's not jinx it) we will be closing this week on a full price offer. Holy crap! We're excited and ready for that big check.

CATCHING UP

2008-10-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

Okay everyone, let me take a moment to get you all caught up on a few things in my life that I have not spoken about much on here. Ready? Here we go.

In April 2007 I found myself at a charity event in Dallas, TX. While there I met a girl named Meg. We talked several times. I made some of my super awesome moves. And the rest is basically history. Okay, my moves were probably less than super awesome as we are not standing together in this picture ...

... but needless to say, this is where it all began.

Many emails and phone calls followed and then came many weekend trips back and forth to Longview as that is were Meg was currently living and working. We spent a lot of time together over the course of the summer and had a great time getting to know each other.

By the fall I was sure she was the one I should marry. So I did two things to that end. I took a trip to my favorite Parisian jeweler and bought a sweet ring for my woman. And secondly I bought an investment property to fund said purchase.

On Christmas Eve I asked Meg to be my wife. And on Christmas Day we broke the big news (she said "yes" by the way) to our friends and family.

We celebrated a wonderful Christmas here in Texas and then shortly thereafter had a small celebration for the second annual 29 on the 29th. The party ... awesome. The reality of my new age ... not so awesome.
And then the wedding planning began. We had a lot of help and definitely plenty of advice on this subject and were grateful for all of it. But in the end we completely planned the entire wedding on our own. Some days we enjoyed this. Some days it was exhausting. But in the end it was all worth the efforts we made.

And did I mention the investment property? Through all the wedding planning we also spent our weekends working on this house in an effort to almost completely rebuild the property to get it ready to sell.

Oh yeah, and I was getting ready to ride in the MS150 in May. Do I need to say that it was an extremely busy spring for us around here?

June 28 and the day was finally here. It was so great to have all of our friends and families in town to celebrate with us. As is always the case, we didn't have anywhere near the amount of time we would have liked to have had with all these people, but it was such a blessing to have them all in town and all in the same building to celebrate out wedding.

Meg's family is from Buffalo, NY and since we both were living here in the Dallas area we decided it would be best and easiest if we had the wedding here. So we were married at First Baptist Church in Van Alstyne where I grew up. And then we had the reception at Rock Creek Ranch (part of the old Bill Bates' ranch) in McKinney.

We made many decisions involving the planning of the wedding and reception but there was one decision that were went back and forth on and in the end could not have imagined what the event would have been like if we had not made this decision. We asked one of our favorite bands to play the reception and the Tejas Brothers graciously agreed to play the occasion. If there is a group of guys who know how to get people to enjoy a wedding reception, these are the guys.

Best wedding picture ever.

These guys were so great and have now become wonderful friends. They were recently voted "Best New Act" by the Dallas Observer and if you have the chance to go see them play I strongly suggest you do so.

After a wonderful wedding weekend and a great time with all our friends and family it was finally time for some rest and relaxation. So the next day we hopped on a plane and headed south towards Mexico. We spent a week on the beach in Playa del Carmen that was absolutely perfect. We stayed at a wonderful resort that was definitely much more high roller than where we usually find ourselves. We found out how awesome all-inclusive is and enjoyed having time together after a very busy 6 months of wedding planning.

We've now been married for just over 3 months and couldn't be more happy. We are living in McKinney with the two dogs, Riley and Chloe, and are having a great time together.

And finally, I would like to say a few words of thanks to a few people who were unbelievably helpful during the wedding. I think it definitely was to our advantage to have several friends who are already married as they knew just what a bride and groom needed during their wedding weekend. And it was to our advantage to have very loving family close by. The ladies in my family were so great in preparing the church for the wedding and putting on the rehearsal dinner. It couldn't have been more perfect and we are so grateful for all their efforts. And we had a lot of friends help us out during the weekend, but I've never seen anyone go above and beyond the way our friends the Thompsons and McCrackens did. You guys are the best and we love you even more for all you did for us. So a huge thank you to both our friends and family for all you did for us during this wonderful time.

Okay everyone ... you feel caught up? There is plenty more to update you on and hopefully that will follow soon. But I think this is a pretty good little starter. Until next time ...

MORE ON DESMOND

2008-03-25T13:49:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Shane for the heads up on Desmond (Henry Ian Cusick) and his appearance as Jesus in the Visual Bible's Gospel of John.

A SECOND LOOK

2008-03-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

I originally was very disappointed in Donald Sloan for not being able to get a shot off at the end of this game. I probably should have paid a little closer attention and I would have seen the reason he was unable to get a shot up. There have been some problems with college refs this year (just ask Arizona State, who due to a horrible call at the end of a conference tournament game is stuck playing in the NIT) and this seems to be another example of very poor officiating in an extremely crucial moment of a huge game. Look ... A&M is about 60% from the line for the year so chances are if they call that foul, Sloan makes one of two and we lose by one point. But at least let the outcome be decided fairly. These pictures bring back horrible memories of seeing pictures of Dwyane Wade getting a foul call and not having a defensive player within a foot of him.

So here are two pictures of the final play from Saturday night's game. Should a foul have been called? You be the judge.

WEDDING BAND

2008-03-23T20:37:00.000-07:00

Well folks, we've booked entertainment for the wedding. We originally were just thinking dj but we had a great opportunity present itself that allowed us to get one of our favorite bands to play the event. So on June 28th we'll be dancing the night away with the Tejas Brothers. Be jealous. You can check them out and listen here.

DESMOND AND JESUS

2008-03-23T20:14:00.001-07:00

Anyone watch LOST? Well, you should. And if you do then you of course know of the character Desmond. Boyfriend of Penny. Encourager of Jack. Friend of Charlie. Crashed on the island while on a boat race around the world.

So this morning Meg and I went to church with my parents and for part of the service the choir sang songs while video played on the large projection screen. It was typical Easter sunday video footage of the crucifixion and resurrection. I happened to be paying more attention to the choir rather than the video so I noticed nothing out of the ordinary about the video. But several songs into this presentation Meg all of a sudden grabs my arm very tightly as if she's just been shocked by something she's seen. I look over and she's trying very hard not to just die laughing during the middle of the service. Then she leans over and quietly whispers, "is that Desmond playing Jesus?" And I crap you not ... it was him. We both found it hilarious and it probably didn't help when I leaned over and whispered to her, "you're gonna die Charlie."

So I just thought you should know that Desmond has played Jesus ... perhaps in another life brother.

THE JOYS OF WIRELESS INTERNET

2008-03-20T20:36:00.000-07:00

So if you remember (not that you should) there were a few things last year that really changed my life. And when I say "changed my life" I don't necessarily mean it in the "meeting the woman I'll marry" sort of way. That is an experience that belongs in its own category and me ever comparing it to what I'm about to speak to will no doubt have me spending my nights on the couch at some point in my life. I'm talking strictly functional changes to this life of mine in this post. So last year it was Netflix (which turned into Blockbuster online) and DVR. These things literally changed the way I do life. I no longer scheduled my evenings around what was on television. I could finally do whatever I wanted on any night of the week and within a couple of hours that would have been wasted anyways, I can be completely caught up on the week's television. And what about all those television shows that have long since aired that I never got to watch? That's where blockbuster online comes in. I'm currently somewhere in the middle of season 5 of West Wing right now. I have watched seasons 1-4 already along with seasons 1-4 of 24 and of course countless movies. And they take the payment straight from my checking account every month so unless I really think about it I feel like it's pretty much free.

So what could I add to my lineup of technology this year to make my life more streamlined and enjoyable? How about a healthy dose of wireless internet. That's right folks. For the first time ever, I'm writing from the chair in my living room while I watch the NCAA tournament. I feel like I'm the last person around to get wireless and man have I been missing out. Anyways, all that just to let you know that I'm really enjoying the wireless internet experience here at the house. So between the wireless and the 32" flat screen LCD I bought for my bedroom earlier in the year, I'd say 2008 is off to a great start in the technology upgrades department.

WHAT WHAT

2008-01-08T12:00:00.000-08:00

More later. Just thought you should know.

REALLY?

2007-12-13T12:50:00.001-08:00

Today while listening to the radio in the car a commercial for Duracell batteries came on the air. It claimed that Santa used Duracell batteries for all the toys made in his workshop. Really? You're going to tell me that you know for sure Santa uses Duracell batteries? Can I see some sort of purchase order that was placed for said batteries? I would rather not have to take the company's word for this. And if Santa really does put Duracell batteries in all the toys then why would they need to advertise this time of year. We don't need to buy batteries because apparently Santa has already put them in the toys. I'm just sayin'. It's something to think about.

SOME TV LISTS

2007-12-10T08:22:00.000-08:00

SHOWS I WATCH THAT YOU SHOULD ALSO BE WATCHING:
-Friday Night Lights
-How I Met Your Mother
-The Unit
-30 Rock
-The Office
-LOST (at least I'll be watching it someday)
-RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

SHOWS I WATCH THAT YOU SHOULD NOT WATCH BECAUSE THEY'RE REALLY NOT THAT GOOD:
-The Real World
-Two And A Half Men

SHOWS I AM WATCHING OR HAVE RECENTLY WATCHED USING BLOCKBUSTER ONLINE:
-The West Wing, second season (currently watching)
-Entourage, seasons 1-3
-24, seasons 1-3

2007-12-06T14:32:00.000-08:00

I should begin by telling you a little something about myself. I apparently have a small problem with inconsistency. Maybe you've noticed. I make no promises going forward. Just wanted to make you aware of this certain character trait that may or may not affect how often you get to read something new from me.

And since it's been a while, why don't we start with an update about all the seemingly boring goings on in my life which you somehow can't stop reading about. So here goes ... and in bullet form no less.

-I have a girl. This is nothing new but I doubt I've said it on here and I thought you might like to know. Her name is Meg and she's very pretty. You should know this because that's the only kind of girls I go out with. The second of my initial criteria for a girlfriend is that she likes me back. And she does. So there you have it.

-I have a new job. I am currently the district business manager for Samsonite in Dallas, TX. And for those of you who are saying it either in your heads or out loud right now .... I still think it's funny when people say, "slippy, slappy, swenson, swanson ... Samsonite! I was way off." So don't feel bad if you say it as well. But let's not over do it. I started this job 2 months ago and love it. I've lived in the metroplex for 3 years now and feel like I've spent that entire time working my way into a job that I not only loved but felt was just the right fit for me and the goals I have for myself. This job has allowed some much needed financial stability and a much more pleasant attitude between the hours of 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. Not that you would have necessarily noticed a difference in attitude in the past, as I'm pretty good at disguising that stuff. But it was there.

-I have a new car. Part of the perks of the job. Got a company car. 2005 Camry. Not too bad for a free car.

Okay, enough new stuff for now. Enjoy.

A BREAKTHROUGH

2007-08-17T07:57:00.000-07:00

Today has been a great day so far. I completely had a breakthrough. For those regular readers, you know that one of my goals this year is to learn to like coffee. This is something I have really wanted to do for a really long time but I had such a distaste for it in the past that I never made any steps towards learning to like it. And maybe here is where I should insert my theory on learning to like drinks. I've found that I can learn to like ... at least tolerate ... a drink if I force myself to have 3 of them. It doesn't have to be at the same time. And it's preferrable that it be at different times. But I've found that I can get myself to like something if I can fight through it 3 times. I used to not like root beer. I forced down a bottle on 3 different occasions and now IBC is one of my favorite drinks. I used to not like beer. I forced down at least a bottle on 3 different occasions. It's now one of my favorite drinks. So why should it be any different with coffee? It stands to reason that it should work the same .... but this time (and by this time I mean the past 10 years) I've had trouble making myself try it. Enter a coffee accountability partner, if you will. She makes coffee for me, tells me things I can put in it to make it taste better and most importantly she makes me drink it. I've been drinking coffee with french vanilla creamer on and off now for a few months, but always at other people's houses. Today however, I am delighted to report that I made my first pot of coffee (EVER!) and put away almost 2 whole cups. This is craziness. Absolute craziness. And if I can say so ... it was damn good coffee. So if you're looking for moderately good company and very good coffee ... let me know.

SO HOT ... SO FREAKIN' HOT

2007-07-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

So Meg and I got back to my house yesterday afternoon and as I walked in the front door I thought to myself, "hmmm, it feels much hotter than usual in here." I went to check the thermostat and the temp inside the house was 87. My A/C has been on the fritz for a little while now. I've had a hard time getting it to cool properly during the daytime, but it never goes all the way up to 87. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. And of course it would happen on a weekend when the A/C place isn't open and it would happen on what was most likely the hottest day of the year so far. Misery I tell you. Misery. So I got a fan from Wal-Mart lastnight and toughed it out. It was not fun and I've tried to stay out of the house as much as possible today (sometimes difficult as I work from home) but now I have to be here waiting for the A/C repair man. I'm starting to sweat. I have on work clothes. I don't like this. And I'm praying to the A/C gods that it doesn't cost too much to fix. My luck would be something with at least 4 figures. That's just how things go for me. So here's to hoping. And here's to the A/C getting a move on and getting over here. It's so hot!

WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG

2007-07-09T06:50:00.001-07:00

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/180_trillion_leisure_hours_lost_to

NEW PICTURES

2007-07-05T23:27:00.001-07:00

I've uploaded lots of new pictures on Flickr. This is my favorite. I'm obviously putting some of my best moves on Meg. Those moves work everytime. And as you can see I was able to find a way to put this cool little link to all these pictures over to your right on the screen. So go there. Check them out. Enjoy. There are new sets of my friend Ty's 27th birthday party (where I decided to "back it up" on Meg), our float trip on the Comal, my new nephew Caleb, etc. Have fun. Make fun. Whatever.

SERIOUSLY???

2007-06-28T13:15:00.000-07:00

In case no one noticed ... it's summertime and schools are not in session. But for some reason the school zone light near my house always blinks from 7:15 a.m. to 8:15 a.m and from 3:15 p.m. to 4:15 p.m. What's the protocol on something like this? Are you still supposed to go from 40 mph down to the marked 20 mph? I usually split the difference at around 30 mph. I guess I got my answer today. No, I didn't get a ticket. But there was a police car set up to catch people as they came up over a hill inside the school zone. Luckily there were others in front of me that I saw slowing down. But seriously, is this all our police officers have to do? The guy is trying to catch people speeding in a school zone when school is freakin' out for the summer. Go figure.

BEST JOB EVER .... EVER!

2007-06-22T22:05:00.000-07:00

I'm getting this info second or third hand, but it's come from several different and reliable sources so I will assume it is at least 90% authentic and go ahead and tell you the story. (not that it had to be even close to 90% authentic for me to tell it)

So for you non sports fans, Sammy Sosa hit his 600th career homerun the other night. Again, for you non sports fans ... that's pretty good. He's only the 5th player in the history of the game to have achieved this number of homers. Whether he was on steroids in the late nineties or not ... it's still pretty impressive. He signed a one year minor league deal with the Rangers and since he only needed 16 homers this year to reach this mark it was pretty much a given that he would do it in a Rangers uniform. So apparently since spring training the guys in the bullpen, headed by reliever C.J. Wilson have been hatching the following plan on the off chance the home run landed in their bullpen in right center field ... which it did.

For a long time I've been of the belief that being a major league bullpen catcher is in fact the greatest job on the planet. You don't make much money but compared to the average person you probably make a decent salary. Enough to live on for sure. The thing is you get to go to every baseball game during the season. You get to play catch with major league pitchers and just when you're down on yourself about not having nearly as much money as the actual players around you, you remember that you're friends with most of them and if they ever invite you out with them or on vacation they will most likely pick up the tab just to have you along for the ride ... that is assuming you're cool enough for them to want to hang with you and when I think about this job I see myself doing it and I know I'm cool enough ... so go with it. So anyways, back to the story of the 600th homerun. The ball actually landed in the Rangers' bullpen and seemed to be picked up by reliever Akinori Otsuka. Apparently after he got the ball he slyly rolled the ball over to the bullpen catcher. The catcher did not know what the other guys were trying to do so he picked the ball up and handed to a security guard. Once in the hands of the security guard the bullpen catcher was the official retriever of the ball. It was his to do with what he wanted. He could put it on eBay and see how much money he could get for it. He could display it on his mantle at home. He could simply give it back to Sammy (which was probably expected). Anything he wanted. Apparently this guy drives some sort of old beat up Cadillac. Actually according to him it's not that bad of a car, but you can imagine it's nothing like the ones his coworkers drive. So a day or two after Sammy hit the homer, the bullpen collectively announced they were holding the ball hostage until Sammy bought the bullpen catcher a new car. This is genius. Absolute genius. Of course the guy would have given it back if Sammy really insisted. It was just a joke. And you asked me, it's a pretty funny joke. I haven't heard if the guy got his new car yet ... but if he does it will in fact confirm my thoughts bullpen catcher is the greatest job ever. I haven't seen any postings for one on monster.com but if anyone runs across one, let me know. So congratulations to Sammy and congratulations to unnamed bullpen catcher. It was a hell of a week.

SWEET SIXTEEN

2007-06-22T20:18:00.000-07:00

So as per my usual, I'm watching a little MTV the other day and this show called "Sweet Sixteen" comes on. I've seen parts of several episodes of this show and as much as I love MTV, this show really pisses me off. It's ridiculous. These girls they feature on this show are some of the worst people I've ever seen in my life. So in this particular episode there is a girl named Audrey who I think was from Miami. The only part I watched was a scene where her mother surprised her a day early with a brand new Lexus coupe. I don't know how much this car cost but I have a feeling it's in excess of $50K. It was a sweet ride and apparently what she had asked for. When she saw it though she threw a fit. She started crying and yelling at her mother about how she ruined her birthday but giving it to her a day early. I guess she wanted it delivered at her party maybe? I don't know. This fit was insane. It just went on and on and her mother just took it ... although she did return the car to the dealership. I'm sure the salesman was thrilled to see that commission go down the drain. In the end I just couldn't help but wonder how a 15 year old girl could end up like this. Is it because of the millions of dollars? Or are her parents just not that good at parenting? It seems like all the girls on this show are spoiled brats that want every piece of attention they can get. Can MTV not find any respectable 15 year olds ... or would that not be good t.v. And why am I watching this stuff anyways? And more importantly, why am I writing about it. I apparently have some problems. Okay, enough.

SINGER/SONGWRITER NIGHT

2007-06-19T08:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I haven't played music in front of anyone in a really long time. I used to do it a lot. And when I say in front of people, I don't mean like over at their house or out on somebody's back porch. I mean somewhere with a stage, microphones, maybe a light or two and a little beer. I would say that my musical stylings haven't really changed that much over the years, it's just that I choose to let more of certain types out than others and sometimes that tends to change. So if you knew me and the music I was making 5 years ago you would be a little surprised at what I'm writing these days. But understand that it has all always been there, I'm just letting a different type out now. To me it's roots music. For two reasons. First of all it's based on and influenced by the original types of American music that were at the beginning of modern music in this country. Taking the simplest parts from that style and incorporating them into something that is modern and relevant but also holds the structure and stylings of the older traditional sounds. And secondly, it's the kind of music I grew up on. It's where I came from. It's me. So that's what I've been playing.

As I said earlier, I haven't played in front of anyone in a long time so when I heard about a singer/songwriter competition that was being hosted by 95.3 The Range here in Dallas I decided I would give it a go. If nothing else it would give me a deadline to finish a few songs I've been working on for a while. So I went out about a month ago to play and it went really well. I played one song and then was asked to come back and play one more before they made a final decision. I was then asked to come back for the semifinal round several weeks later. And if you were wondering ... it looked a little something like this.

So I went back lastnight for the seminfinals. I had a great crowd of family and friends that came out for support. I found out I would be going on first and right before that one of the judges would be playing a few songs. His name was Daryl Lee Rush and he is a very well known Americana/Country musician in the area. He won the Shiner Rising Star competition a few years ago and has a great record out called "Llano Avenue". Point being, not an easy act to follow. I really like that guy's music though so it was great to hear him play.

Anyways, long story short, I thought I played a couple of pretty good songs but I didn't win so we gave them all the double birds and went across the street for burgers and beer at Kellers. Honestly, it wasn't a big deal. The competitive side of me will always want to win, but the rest of me realizes that music competitions are not the best thing in the world. I heard someone talking about this on the radio a while back and they made the point that Bob Dylan would have never made it on American Idol. At the end of the day it was great to be back in front of people playing music. It's makes you very vulnerable to be all alone in front of a crowd. Especially when you're singing your very own thoughts and musings. It's a good feeling to put that stuff out there and I appreciate all of you who came out to listen. I'm hoping to get the opportunity to play every now and then so stay tuned. Until then ...

TIME FOR SITUPS

2007-06-01T13:43:00.000-07:00

It has been brought to my attention (by that I mean I looked in the mirror and noticed) that I have apparently developed what we're going to call a little "extra". I have no idea how this happened. Actually I guess I do have some sort of idea. It goes something like this. I was in high school and worked out every day. I also had a very quick metabolism. I was in college and pretty much rode a bike everyday. And I had a high metabolism. After college I started to work and never worked out. But I still had a high metabolism. Within the past few years I still worked and did not work out very often. And I could actually sense my metabolism slowing down. And see the extra starting to form. So at the start of this year I started biking ... a lot. And I got into decent shape (comparatively speaking versus where I was before). Currently I've taken a little break from the bike and of course the old metabolism is right where it was before so here comes the extra. Damn the extra. And it all likes to congregate at the front or sides of the ole' belly. Being a guy who started losing the hair very early in life ... this is something that cannot happen. Guys who get guts can at least say, "at least I still have my hair." And guys that lose their hair like to be able to say, "at least I don't have a gut." So where does that leave me? Working out. That's where it leaves me. And I hate working out. But I like food more than I hate working out so that's pretty much how it has to happen. And it's actually good for me and makes me feel good so I guess it's not all bad. And then hopefully I can say, "at least I don't have a gut."

I'm pretty sure this is the most vain post I've ever written, but it was on my mind. I'll try to start focusing on the more important things in life. Right after I workout.

SOME STUFF THAT WILL REALLY BUM YOU OUT

2007-05-17T11:22:00.000-07:00

I was recently reading an article in Outside magazine about a guy named Kevin Fedarko and more importantly about his new book called Off The Wall: Death in Yosemite. This is his second such book ... the first being about various deaths in the Grand Canyon. Sounds a little creepy I know, but it is actually meant to be a book to help people avoid such mishaps in the future and in many instances is kind of funny when you take the personal part out of it. Here are a few excerpts from both books. I hope they don't mess you up too bad.

Grand Canyon

Lane McDaniels, 42
June 12, 1928
River Mile 4, Navajo Bridge, Marble Canyon
McDaniels, a construction worker, lost his footing on a scaffold while helping build what qualified, at the time, as the world's highest steel bridge and fell 470 feet into the Colorado River. No safety net had been set up, due to concerns that hot rivets might ignite it. Observers reported that McDaniels's body appeared to "burst and flatten out" on impact.

Trish Astolfo, 37
January 5, 1993
The Abyss, South Rim
Astolfo, reportedly inspired by repeated viewings of Thelma & Louis, tried to driver her Chevy Suburban into the Grand Canyon, but the vehicle high-centered before it cleared the rim. She then opened the door, walked to the edge and leaped off - only to land on a rocky ledge 20 feet below. Injured but still alive, she crawled to a nearby precipice, dropped over its edge and fell 150 feet to her death.

YOSEMITE

William L. Gooch, 22
May 19, 1976
Ledge Trail to Glacier Point
Hiking solo, Gooch scrambled down the Ledge Trail, which was officially closed and posted with a sign reading DANGER! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOLLOW THIS ABANDONED TRAIL. Shortly after heading out, he detoured off-trail to fill his water bottle and slipped. Witnesses saw him sliding down a wet slab and heard him mutter, "Oh shit!" as he fatally plunged 600 feet.

Jan Davis, 58
October 22, 1999
El Capitan
Davis, a professional stunt woman jumped off El Cap to protest the National Park Service's ban on BASE jumping in the park. Davis failed to deploy her chute in time and crashed into Yosemite Valley in front of 150 onlookers.

Joseph E. Crowe, 25
December 29, 2002
Zodiac route, El Capitan
Crowe was attempting to do a solo winter climb of an 1,800 foot route on El Capitan. During a snowstorm he tried to rappel down, but his rope came up short. He froze to death, just 25 feet from the bottom.

Okay everyone. Hope that didn't bum you out too much. Next post will be extra happy to even things out.

MS 150 Part Deux

2007-05-14T10:27:00.000-07:00

Getting up at 4:00 in the morning is not fun. I don't care if you went to bed at 4:00 the previous afternoon. It's still not fun. If man was intended to get up at 4:00 then God would have made the sun rise at 4:00. Last time I checked it was still pretty freakin' dark at 4:00. I'm just sayin'.

So I got up really early, caught the shuttle bus back to Texas Motor Speedway and prepared for what I figured to be a very grueling day on the road. We watched the weather ... a lot ... the night before and it all said scattered showers with severe weather likely after 12:00. I was not looking forward to another day of riding in the rain. Especially on weary legs and a sore butt.

The thing about riding this far is you have to always make sure you have fuel in your body. You must make sure you're keeping a proper eating schedule which always begins with a good breakfast. I'm not a breakfast person. Never have been. I just don't have the stomach for it in the mornings. But I knew I had to get something on my stomach so I ate half a power bar and drank a bottle of water. Just fyi ... water is not the best thing to put on an empty stomach first thing in the morning. I never felt like I would throw up but I definitely didn't feel great as we started the ride.

The start time was pushed back about 20 minutes because of an overturned 18 wheeler that all the police officers had to respond to. So after waiting at the start line for almost 45 minutes the cops finally made it back to lead the ride back out on the roads around TMS. 14.2 miles to the first rest stop. We were headed northwest so we had the 15 mph wind at our backs for the morning. It would be that way for the first 30 miles and then it was all over so I knew I needed to enjoy it while it lasted and not waste a lot of energy before the afternoon. Stopped at the first rest stop and I ate an entire bagel. Doesn't sound like much ... except for the fact that I hate bagels. But this one wasn't toasted or tough so it was more like blueberry bread. And that I find to be delicious. Thanks to a little food I was starting to feel much better as we headed on towards the lunch stop in Decatur. We arrived around 9:30 (remember the start time was pushed back over 20 minutes) at the lunch stop. That's right. Lunch at 9:30. Can't get it at McDonald's but you sure can get it that early on the MS 150. My friends Elizabeth and Aimee had already made plans to call it a day at the lunch stop and take the shuttle back to the end. So I was on my own for the remaining 45 miles of the course. I was feeling tired at this point. Partially from getting up so early and partially from all the miles I had already gone. And I knew the rest of the ride would be the toughest part. I had been told the last 45 miles was filled with lots of climbs. Perfect for when your legs already feel like rubber. I took off and headed south straight into the wind. I knew from this point on I just had to be methodical and get it finished. I would stop at all the rest stops, but I knew I shouldn't stay long. Partially because of losing the motivation to keep riding and partially because every time I stopped later in the day my muscles all started to tighten and it usually took several miles to stretch out again. The next stop was 10 miles. The sun was finally coming out (we had seen no rain so far) so it was getting hot. It was another 8 miles to the next stop. As I got ready to leave that stop I heard someone call my name. I turned to find Elizabeth and Aimee. They were having to ride rest stop to rest stop in order to get back so they just decided to get out and ride the rest. It was nice to have the company and encouragement again. The next 15 miles were really tough. Lots of climbs. Lots of wind. After the ride people asked me if there was ever a point where I thought I wouldn't finish. The answer was always "no". There was however a point where I thought I might not be able to finish the entire ride due to mechanical difficulties. I could tell that my bike was not performing at its peak. I was just trying to get it through a few more miles though. I threw a chain at the top of a long climb and got it jammed between the small chain ring and the frame. I tried to free it but couldn't. I got some help from a ride marshall who was not very optomistic about freeing the chain out on the road without tools. After several minutes though he was able to free it and I was okay to ride on towards the finish.

After the final rest stop we had 11 miles until the end. We rode through neighborhoods, across 820 and finally into the old neighborhoods of Fort Worth. And then finally I saw a familiar building in the distance. It was Billy Bob's. We were almost to the stockyards. We turned north and made our way along the last couple of miles on Main St. in Fort Worth. And just when you think the hard part is over, you see the huge hill you must climb up to the courthouse in downtown Fort Worth. It's long. Very long. Once at the top you make several turns and then finally one last right turn back onto Main St. and then you see it. The finish line. People are lining the streets cheering the riders on. I look for my family and friends on the left side of the street. I finally spot them just as they spot me. It was such a great feeling to hear their cheers and see them all there. Almost forgot I'd been on a bike for over 150 miles. And then finally ... it's over.

The next 30 minutes were kind of a blur. After spending so much peaceful time on my bike, I now had a ton of people around. Lots of picture taking. Lots of hugs. Jaime just had to touch my butt in the biker shorts. More picture taking. It was great. All of it.

We all finished off the day with a huge meal on the patio at Joe T. Garcia's down in the stockyards. We had great food. Great drinks. Shared lots of stories between friends and family. It was all wonderful.

I'm still only a little over a week removed, but I still feel like this is one of the best things I've done in my life. I love that it's for a great cause. It's a cause that is close to my heart and close to the hearts of those around me. But it was also a tough personal challenge to finish this ride. I sometimes forget the value in pushing yourself beyond where you've been before and the things you've done before. It felt so great to be a part of this event and you can definitely expect me there next year. I'll probably even drag a few friends along ... as some have already expressed interest.

So thanks to everyone who took part, whether it was financially, coming out to support me in person, or both. I really appreciate it.

I've posted all the pics I have of the ride so if you want to see them go here:

www.flickr.com/photos/craigmcclain

MS 150 PART 1

2007-05-08T13:32:00.000-07:00

Well folks, I made it. Apparently there was an 80 year old man who crossed the finish line before me ... but I don't care. I freakin' made it. It was one of the most rewarding things I've done in a long time and was well worth the time, money and effort that went into training, not to mention the wind, rain and hills we all suffered through during the course of the weekend. I don't know that I've ever pushed my body that far for that period of time and although it really hurts, it is at the same time a really great feeling.

So how about a little recap? I'll tell you about day 1 and then follow up with another post about day 2 with a few pictures.

I don't like it when my alarm goes off at 4:30 a.m. but that's what happened on Saturday morning. The ride started from Frisco at 7:00 a.m. so I got up and around, made some last minute packing arrangements, had a bowl of Wheaties (seriously) and then got my bike and gear packed up on/in the car and hit the road. I was riding with two friends that have done this ride several times before so I wasn't nervous about anything that would happen once the ride started, but I was meeting them there and would have to find my way through all the logistics of the morning on my own and that was cause for a little nervousness. It was definitely a cool sight to see all the cars with bikes begin to converge as we got closer to the starting area. I love seeing that many people that are all about being active and in shape. It's definitely a good thing. Again, this is the first time I've done the MS 150, but I can't imagine it being more organized. I pulled up, got ready, walked a few hundred feet to drop off my bag and I was off to the start line. I rolled right up with the rest of the Cheesy Riders (I rode on the Frito-Lay team) about 6:30 with adrenaline pumping for what lay ahead. After the singing of the national anthem and a fly over we were off. Headed north up Dallas Parkway where after several miles I found out they are building a Rudy's BBQ in Frisco. I was pretty pumped. Something I found to be a bad idea was to continually gauge my remaining mileage. For instance, I looked down at my trip odometer to see I had ridden 8 miles. I thought to myself, "only 142 more to go." Not a good though my friends. Not a good thought. So I put that practice to rest in a hurry.

I made my first stop at 18.1 miles into the ride for a little snack and bathroom break. There are rest stops about every 10 miles on the course for riders to refill water bottles, get a snack, use the bathroom, get first aid, etc. Each of which was very well organized and a very welcome site. Especially the last few. I met up with my friends Elizabeth and Aimee at this point as the crowd started to thin finally. We continued north to the town of Pilot Point and then headed off to the west on FM455 across the dam at Lake Ray Roberts. It was a beautiful portion of the ride, even though the fog was moving in and it had started to drizzle a bit of rain on us. And speaking of rain, I was very disappointed in the forecast from local weather personalities. Last I heard it was supposed to be sunny and dry and somehow that quickly turned into not sunny and not dry. We ate lunch in a church parking lot about 10 miles to the west of Sanger where I had my first encounter with my favorite MS Society worker. And then after lunch the conditions along with the route turned south in a hurry. The rain continued as we turned into a strong head wind. Not fun. The misery of the rain however did not compare with the danger involved in riding in those conditions. I passed a total of 3 bike wrecks that day, the last of which ended with a girl being taken away in an ambulance and leaving a very large area of blood on the road. As we all walked our bikes past the site it really made us realize the dangers of the conditions.

We pressed on through the final 28 miles after lunch to finally end up at Texas Motor Speedway. It, along with it's smooth flat roads leading to the finish was a welcome site. The two Shiner Bocks I had to celebrate were probably not a great idea, but they were well deserved. My two riding partners are training for a half Iron Man triatholon in a few months so for some crazy reason they thought they would run two miles just for the hell of it after our ride. Crazy. Anyways, after a little BBQ at the Frito Lay tent, we headed to the hotel shuttles and called it a day.

And it really was a great day. I had put in more miles than any other single day of riding. I felt great (relatively speaking of course) and was just taking it all in. Everything was new to me and no matter how many times I do this ride in the future, this was my first one so I wanted to make sure it was a great one.

(this concludes part 1)

AN UPDATE

2007-04-30T19:39:00.000-07:00

Since it's been a little while since I've posted anything new I thought I would at the very least take a little time for an update. So here goes ....

.... if you read my previous post about my goals for this year then you know that one of those goals is to ride in the MS 150 in DFW this year. The ride takes place this coming weekend and I've spent the past couple of months getting geared up and ready for this 2 day 150 mile bike ride. It supports an incredibe cause that is extremely close to my heart. If you're interested in being a part of this event by donating financially then use this link to do so.

http://ms150.org/edon.cfm?id=198650

The training is going well. It's been a long time since I even got close to pushing my body towards its physical limits so it's nice to be working hard and getting into much better shape. I don't quite have the nutrition part nailed just yet ... but I'm working on it. I just love Whataburger too much though to give up on it all together.

Went to Germanfest in Muenster, TX this past Saturday. I rode in the bike rally with my friends Marshall and Elizabeth. 40 miles. Was a great ride in great weather.

Spent Sunday at the Byron Nelson in Irving. Talk about night and day from Muenster to Las Colinas. I like that I can fit in both settings pretty well though. Now here are a few pointers I'll give to anyone thinking about attending a professional golf tournament based on things I saw yesterday.

1) If you're driving a pick up truck and want to change lanes you had better look to make sure a large shuttle bus isn't in the lane you want to be in. Otherwise said bus will crush the side of your truck and it will not turn out well for you. (luckily our shuttle bus was just down the sidewalk from where it was going so we didn't have to wait for the accident to get cleaned up to get into the tourney)

2) Girls ... there are a million ways for you to look smokin' hot at a golf tournament without wearing heels. I'm not sure if you realize this but you have to walk ... a lot. And there are hills. And if you try to walk said hills in said heels (like what I did there?) you will stumble all over yourself and forfeit any smokin' hotness you may have built up.

3) Sunscreen is our friend. But try to put it on before you get there. Don't be the guy standing by the public sunscreen squirters lathering yourself up. It's not a good look.

4) I'm as big of a believer as anyone in the coolness of beer ... but drink water. That way you won't die.

5) Get there a little early ... and leave a little early.

Okay everyone. That's enough nonsense for one night. I'll update you on the MS150 after this weekend. If you're in the Dallas area and need something fun to do you should make signs and come out to the course to cheer on the riders. You should support biking and you should definitely support the search for a cure for MS. And it will be fun. You can get any info you need about the bike ride at this link:

dallas.ms150.org/dallas

... and remember to use the link from earlier to support this effort financially.

Finally, I've been trying to post pictures periodically on flickr. Someone teach me how to put a link to that page on here. Until then ... go here:

www.flickr.com/photos/craigmcclain

Until next time ...

BEST SPORTS DAY OF THE YEAR

2007-04-01T17:52:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is what I believe to be the best sports day of the year. First of all I'm usually pumped because the NCAA basketball finals will take place tomorrow night. However, this is the first year in my entire life that I've had a vested interest in a team in the tourney and now that they are out the championship doesn't sparkle quite like it did before. Fortunately for me there is another reason why tomorrow is important. That's right folks. It's opening day. So I'd like to take a moment to comment on what I consider to be the greatest of all the sports.

Spring Training:

I went to Rangers' spring training this year with my great friends Jaime and Ty.

I've never really considered a trip to spring training before and now I'll never consider not going. We did it over a long weekend this year and will make it a full week next year. To me it was the purest form of baseball that is played by major league ballplayers. No huge stadiums. No camera crews. No fancy pregame ceremonies. Just baseball. We were able to sit so close we could hear the players and manager talking on the field. It reminded me how much I love this game. It doesn't matter if my team stinks ... although I'd prefer they not. It was just baseball and it was great.

Bonds:

This guy is most likely going to break Hank Aaron's career home run record this year. They were talking about it on Baseball Tonight and I couldn't help but wonder what the collective reaction to this event will be. Everyone says it is tainted because he played in the steroid era and has all but been convicted of using. But I couldn't help but wonder if we're just using this steroid thing as a tangible excuse not like this guy and his breaking of the record when in reality we don't want him to break the record simply because he's probably the biggest asshole modern day baseball has ever seen. I honestly think that's why Bonds gets crucified in the media over the record and steroids. It sounds ridiculous to say we don't want him to break the record because he's a jerk. But we can all get behind putting an asterisk by his name in the record book because of steroids. It's actually some combo of both, but if you ask me the main reason why I will hate to see him break this record it's because I've known of Barry Bonds for a long time and there hasn't been one moment in that time that I didn't think he was a complete jackass that totally choked during his few times in the playoffs.

Joe Morgan:

Why is this guy still calling baseball games? I can't stand him. Would you rather hear him call a baseball game or Bill Walton call a basketball game? I know ... it's a close call.

Picks:

I know there is a game already underway, but I think it will okay to make some legitimate picks. I base these picks on absolutely no baseball expertise what-so-ever. Mainly because I have none of the aforementioned expertise. But I will throw some picks out there and totally rub it in your face when they are proved right in October. So here goes.

AL East: Boston

AL Central: Chicago

AL West: Angels

AL Wildcard: Cleveland

NL East: Mets

NL Central: Cardinals

NL West: Padres

NL Wildcard: Cubs

AL Champ: Chicago

NL Champ: Mets

World Series Champ: Mets

In closing I'll leave you with this quote from Tommy Lasorda.

"No matter how good you are, you're going to lose one-third of your games. No matter how bad you are you're going to win one-third of your games. It's the other third that makes the difference."

~Tommy Lasorda

Here's to the third in the middle. Enjoy opening day!

BEST SHIRTS EVER

2007-03-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

Went to see the Mavs play the Heat back on Feb. 22. I've never liked the way Spurs fans complain about every call and always blame the officials ... but it has been hard to not say anything about the offiating last year in game 5 of the finals. So we decided to do it in a more creative way. Everyone at the game loved us. And it was a great night as we beat the crap out of the Heat ... of course Dwayne Wade wasn't there since he had to be wheeled off the court the night before while he was crying from a separated shoulder. Um ... Mr. Wade. It was your shoulder that got hurt, not your leg. So why did you need a wheel chair? Just asking.

REFLECTIONS ON A TRIP TO WAL-MART

2007-03-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

I had to go to Wal-Mart twice today. And by had, I mean I was pulled there by some mystical voodoo force created by Sam Walton. When in Wal-Mart one of two things always happens to me. I either totally zone out where I almost have to stop, get my bearings and then start moving again or I go into super commentary mode in my head about all the things I see around me. Both of these happened on my second trip today. I don't know what it is about that place but I just get to where all the sounds and sights sort of blur together and I can't focus on any one thing. I literally have to stop and make it a point to focus on what I'm doing. And then I'm standing in the "speedy checkout" lane behind the giant woman on the motorized cart. You know the one. First of all there is nothing speedy about the "speedy checkout" line. And it usually has something to do with the giant woman on the motorized cart. Today's giant woman (and this is some of the commentary that happened in my head, although it usually goes from simple observations to the effects the things I'm observing will have on the global economy, war on terror, state of the American family, etc. You get the point) had all kinds of crap I know she didn't need, least of which was the two fish she had from the pet department. She was the kind of lady who always tells the cashier what the price of each item is after it has been rung up. As if the cashier can't see the price on her little screen. So when the second of these fish went across the scanner the lady asked how much it was. The cashier says, "$3.54". The giant lady says it was supposed to be $1.50. It took almost 5 minutes to find the actual price of this stupid fish. I almost gave the giant lady 2 bucks just to get the hell out of the store. Funny thing is, the damn lady actually forgot several of her bags when she left the checkout area ... one of which contained the fish. It brutal and yet totally expected. It's pretty much what happens when you go into Wal-Mart ... anywhere.

While I'm on Wal-Mart I should tell you of my first trip there today. I went to buy some new pocket t-shirts and boxers. I get said items and proceed to the checkout. Now imagine if you will the "average" Wal-Mart cashier. You have a good picture? Make sure it's accurate. Now if you will ... imagine a slightly older, slightly less attractive version of the average Wal-Mart cashier (by the way, I mean no offense to any of you who may be Wal-Mart cashiers). This is the cashier I had and what does she say as she scans my 3 pack of boxers? "Nice colors!" I know that doesn't sound like much, but you had to see her and hear her as she said it. I was really creeped out and promptly came home and burned all three pair of boxers.

So I'm committing to you now that I will never set foot in another Wal-Mart as long as I shall live ... knowing full well I'll probably be in there twice tomorrow.

WEIRDNESS

2007-02-26T21:33:00.000-08:00

I've had such a weird day. I ate a huge meal Saturday night and although I didn't have a huge appetite on Sunday I managed to eat two good meals which is normal for me as I usually don't do breakfast. But today I didn't eat lunch until after 1:00 and that was just a quick meal from McDonald's (I don't know why I go there. It's slowly killing me I'm sure). Anyways, the thing is I couldn't even finish the meal. And then tonight I had absolutely no appetite for dinner. I ended up eating 5 Thin Mint cookies and drinking 2 bottles of water after working out. Which leads me to the other thing. I'm crazy focused today. I usually feel like I have ADD and instead of doing anything productive I just hang on the couch watching t.v. Not today. I've been all over getting things done. Focused. Energetic. Not sure what's gotten into me. And that's without any fuel today. Of course I could still be reaping the benefits of the amazing guacamole burgers I made on Saturday night. They will change your life.

The other weird thing that I've been thinking about recently is how I ended up with a full bread Golden Retriever that doesn't retrieve for ... well, you know. Sometimes she will play fetch. But if she's not feeling it then you can forget it. It's a good thing I just got her to listen to me talk and to help pick up chicks (which by the way is not working) and not to actually go retrieve birds I blow out of the sky. She's a great dog. But not so good with the retrieving. We'll work on it.

FORTUNE COOKIE

2007-02-08T14:46:00.000-08:00

Today I got the following fortune:

YOU ARE A CLASSIC

What in the world is that supposed to mean? I have no idea if that is good or bad. I'm assuming good since I've never really seen a negative fortune in a fortune cookie before. I'm totally a fan of fortunes with a little twist though. Here are some ideas I've come up with:

DOES THAT SHIRT REALLY GO WITH THOSE PANTS?

GOOD TRY, BUT YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE PROMOTION

SHE'S OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE

A LITTLE BIT OF APATHY CAN GET YOU A LONG WAY

YOU HAVE THE MAKINGS OF A FOLLOWER, NOT A LEADER

PLAID? REALLY?

I just think everything in the world has to even out somehow. Not everyone can be leaders. If they were, then we wouldn't actually have leaders. We'd just have a big bunch of people walking around. For all the good fortunes there have to be some bad ones, otherwise how would we know that the good ones are good. So if the chinese restaurants are all handing out good fortunes then they are definitely blowing sunshine. So why not spread a little more realistic fortune to the world. I'm just sayin'.

So seriously ... CLASSIC ... is that good?

GENIUS

2007-02-08T09:50:00.000-08:00

A long time ago in a land far, far away I attended college. I studied marketing and managed to pick up a few things along the way. In several classes we discussed different types of consumers. There are of course specific names and attributes for each type and most of this eludes me at the moment but I'll fill you in on what I remember and how it relates to me. First of all you have the people who buy things because they always want to be on the cutting edge. It almost doesn't matter what it is, as long as it is the next greatest thing. They will sacrifice paying high prices in order to be one of the first to have a new item for sale. On the opposite end of that spectrum you have people who always have and always will be satisfied with how things used to be. They don't need any of the new stuff and certainly will not be paying money for this stuff. For example, do you know anyone who just refuses to purchase a computer? Or who has a computer but will not connect it to the internet? I'm sure you do. They're probably older than you. And that's just how it's going to be. No need in attempting to change their minds. Then you have several areas between these two extremes. Probably the most common is the person who likes new and innovative things but doesn't want to take the risk or pay the money to be the first to own. After several months or maybe several years (depending of the product) this person is totally on board, but waits until all the kinks are worked out and the price finds its equilibrium. This is the person I would like to be and should be, but I somehow always find myself a step or two behind this person. You will see as I tell you about the genius I spoke of in the subject line.

A few months ago I finally got DVR. My justification for not having it before was that I didn't want to pay the extra $5 or $10 a month. Then I got to thinking about all the things I waste $5 or $10 on every month and decided it was time. It has literally revolutionized my entire life. I can now watch hour long shows in around 40 minutes. If there is a band I want to see on Kimmel but I have to get up really early I just record it and watch it the next day. Say there is a certain show I like to keep up with. I set a series recording, forget about it, and then find new shows on my DVR all the time. It seriously may be the single greatest invention of my lifetime ... so far.

And yesterday I finally broke down and signed up for Netflix. The first disc of the first season of The Office should be arriving at my house sometime this afternoon. Once I'm caught up on that show I think I'm on to 24 and then The Sopranos and then I'm not sure what. Who cares. It will show up at my house and I'll watch it. Why was I so skeptical of the Netflix until now? Actually I was skeptical because I used to have a roomate that had Netflix and we had the same 3 movies for 6 months. Not such a great value when you do it that way. But I am committed to getting value out it and entertaining myself with hours upon hours of past television excitement.

2007 GOALS

2007-01-24T14:41:00.000-08:00

I know it's almost February. You'll get over it though. I've been trying to come up with some good goals for this year and I also wanted to hold off announcing one of said goals until I was at least 75% sure I could make it happen. I only have 3. I feel like I should have more. Especially since one of them will be over by the middle of May. But I guess 3 will have to do. There are of course other things I would like to accomplish this year but I don't want to commit myself to the point of having it in writing. So here goes ... in no particular order ... unless you consider least important to most important a particular order.

1) Learn to like coffee.
-I hate coffee. Absolutely hate it. I wanted so much to like it in college just for the caffeine, but I couldn't stomach it. And it's one of the coolest drinks in the world I think. I would place it second behind beer in a list of coolest drinks. It's practically universal. Can you tell me a place on Earth you can go and not get coffee? Like beer it is always referred to by its name and not by its brand. It's simple. And it's timeless. And for some reason I hate the taste of it. Everyone says you have to fight through the bad taste until you acquire a taste for it. I used to think this was horrible advice but I have experienced this process with root beer and with regular beer and now I am a believer in the acquired taste theory. So I will give it my all. I've tried coffee with sween 'n low before. I've tried mochas. Never tried it with cream or milk though. Does that make it better? Thoughts on this?

2) Learn to cook.
-another thing I'm not so good at. This is definitely an underappreciated skill. My grandmother always makes it look so easy so I figured there wasn't much to it and anyone could do it. I was wrong. I think my problem is I just dabble in it and never really commit myself to any one dish or any one meal. Plus I'm usually just cooking for one which is hard to get motivated for. So there are 12 months in the year and my goal is to learn to prepare and cook 12 different meals. Not 12 items. 12 meals. I think that's a good mix of challenging and reasonable. And that will give me a nice arsenal of options.

3) MS150
-this is the one I was holding off on until I was at least 75% sure I would do it. Let me give you some background. On a purely physical level ... I've been running more lately and I began to have thoughts of training for a marathon or maybe a half marathon. You see, everyone gets so freaked out by the 26.2 miles, but the part that gets you and that really sets people apart is the training. It's tough. And it takes a long time. Unless you're just some freak of nature who can get up off the couch and run that far. I had a friend that ran one back in October and I remember in the months leading up to the race I would often ask her what she was doing the next day and she almost always responded with something like, "I'm running 20 miles to train for the marathon." All that to say, I decided to opt out of marathon training. I did however have the desire to train for some sort of physical activity so I began looking in other areas. I used to mountain bike in college. Loved it. But it's been a while since I've done it. I talked to my college roomate Quincy a few weeks ago and he was telling me about how he's gotten into road biking. I had been thinking of this for a while and then it all of a sudden hit me that I should check into the MS150.

Now let me give you some personal background. For those of you who don't know ... the MS150 is an annual bike tour who's purpose is to raise money and awareness for multiple sclerosis and specifically for the Lone Star chapter of the National MS Society. Within the past several years I have had two very close family members diagnosed with MS. The fight to find a cure for this disease has become something that is very close to the hearts and minds of everyone in my family and I couldn't think of a better opportunity to continue to be involved with and in support of the vital research that is being done.

I will try to update very regularly on my progress in preparing for this. The tour takes place on May 5-6 here in the DFW area so I have several months to prepare ... and I have a feeling it will take every bit of that.

So there you have it everyone. I know there are only 3 goals, but I like them and look forward to the challenge. Here's to the beginning of what I hope proves to be another wonderful year. It's my 30th one you know, so I want to make it a great one.

BLAST FROM THE PAST

2007-01-22T20:34:00.000-08:00

Alright everyone. You're in for quite a treat. The other day I remembered I had saved a lot of pictures on Yahoo several years ago so I went back through them to see what was on there. There were some in there that had me on the floor laughing. These pictures I'm going to show you will provide a small snapshot into winter/spring 2002 for me and you'll understand that the levels of ridiculousness around here know no bounds.

So let me take you on a journey down memory lane.

In December 2001, myself, Brandon Johnson and Dave Kiesel (better known as Red Five Standing By) went into the studio to record a 6 song EP which we titled "Would You Date A Robot?". It was a first for all of us and was a great learning experience. We didn't have much money so we had to work quickly and it all came out pretty rough. But we were pleased. This is a picture of me recording vocal tracks for the record. That's my friend Mike looking on for moral support and a little entertainment of his own. Apparently I was attempting to work a little Cobain magic with that shirt. My high school girlfriend gave me that shirt my sophomore year. Why do I wear things so long?
This is David Dreeson. He was recommended to us by the guys we shared a practice room with ... who incidentally hated us because we never paid our half of the rent on time. What kind of rockstar pays up on time? They were oddly responsible for a group of guys who stayed high most of the time. Anyways, our chance connection with Dreeson has led to a long friendship with a cool guy and great engineer/producer. At the time we were recording in his taken in garage. Now he has a full studio set up at his place in Austin and has recorded several records for Dave and Brandon as they have continued making music. Brandon is currently working alongside Dave at the studio to bring in new business and to make them all pay a fair rate as Dave tends to do everything at cost just because he loves to help people make music. I love that about this guy.

We had a song on the record called "No Good With Girls". It sort of became our theme song. An anthem if you will. Some saw it as a form of self deprecating humor. But I'm here to tell you. We really were no good with girls. We were however great with ideas for making songs unique and funny. We invited several girls into the studio to record lines we had written for the end of the song. So as the song winds down you begin to hear these girls throwing out all the excuses we could think of for not wanting to hang out with us. For example, "I only date football players." "I don't date musicians." So on and so forth. You get the idea. So this is our friend Brandi (on the right) and one of her friends whose name eludes me at the moment. They were really cool about the whole thing and did a great job. It was only about a week later that Brandi would begin her longtime hatred of me for writing a song about an experience I had with her best friend Ashley. I think this was the last time I ever saw her smile around me. So sad.

A couple of reasons why this picture makes me laugh. First of all, notice how Dave is playing the guitar behind his head. Think you've seen this somewhere before? That's right. It's a move that Marty McFly pulled at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance back in 1955. Dave was doing it because we were closing this show with our version of Johnny Be Good ... as we often times did for a crowd full of screaming fans. Funny thing number 2 ... you see the red sign on stage that says, "Red Five Rocks ... Sucks"? That thing kicked so much butt. We had this thing were after a song we would put up points for whether we thought we rocked or sucked. Sometimes we asked the crowd what they thought but we were kind of afraid they would all yell "SUCK!" so we usually just judged ourselves. Of course "suck" always jumped out to an early lead but "rock" came thundering back as we closed out the show with the aforementioned "Johnny Be Good".

Whose seen Spinal Tap? I hope you all raised your hands. If not, then shame on you who have not beheld the glory that is The Tap. Go now and watch this movie to end all movies and then come back to this post so you will understand this picture. This is our friend Graeme. He is 6'7" tall. Here you will see him dressed as dwarf (I know it looks more like an elf, but we made the costume ourselves ... and seamstresses we are not. So just go with us on this one) dancing around a tiny model of Stonehenge dangling from the top of the stage by a wire controlled by Brandon behind the drums. While this is going on we are covering the song "Stonehenge" by Spinal Tap. I don't think there was ever a greater moment in Red Five history than this one right here. As a musician you always want to make the best music possible. As a performer you always want to put on the best show possible. In order to do so you usually need to do something that no one else is doing. I'm pretty sure no one else was doing this.

This I believe is a little later in the same show. This was at The Backroom in Austin which was sort of home base for us when it came to playing shows. Notice Graeme in the front without his elf suit. That's my friend Aaron from high school in the crowd. Not sure if I realized he was there or not. Surely I did. That's Princess Leia on stage with the Red Five t-shirt. Product placement people. Product placement. Looks like Dave and I are doing one of our simultaneous drum riser jumps. Apparently I'm about to slam my head into the back of the sign that we used to conceal the tiny stonehenge earlier in the show. Never felt a thing. It's rock 'n roll you know. Just comes with the territory. That does remind me of the time Dave did the same thing but he hit a steel pole above his head. I thought he was going to pass out on stage. Good times I tell you. Good times.

We did some pretty ridiculous stuff during the relatively short time we were a band, but I promise you nothing topped what you are about to see next. We were needing some press photos and of course we didn't want to do anything that was currently being done by all the other bands out there. Again, not so good with the girls. But great with wild ideas that involved girls. We were always playing off the whole "No Good With Girls" thing. And I guess we were also in a sports mood at the time so we decided to do a sort of sports spoof typed theme. We found several female friends that we (it should be noted that I have to stop every few lines because I'm still laughing hysterically as I write this) convinced to play the part of cheerleaders and headed out to the football field at Westlake High School. We started with some ideas of what we wanted but this quickly got out of hand and we ended up with hundreds of hilarious pictures from the day. In this first shot, notice the attempted bad ass looks on all our faces. That part makes me laugh as does the fact that we rented those letter jackets from a costume store (which we pretty much kept in business during those months) as does the fact that we were able to talk those girls into doing this. What a bizarre day.

This is Dave and I watching Brandon get beat up by the cheerleaders. I don't know which is funnier. Brandon being beat up by girls or Brandon posing as a football player. Both hilarious. We thought this would have made a perfect 8x10 for a press kit. Don't you think this would have gotten the attention of club owners when trying to book shows? Sadly, I think this may be the first public showing of these pictures. In true rockstar fashion we spent a full day on a photo shoot and in the end didn't have exactly what we were looking for. Thanks to Taffy, LeeAnn, Stacey and Jasmine for being good sports and great cheerleaders. And to Brandon, Dave and I for being less than average excuses for football players.

Several months later I took a sales job in Houston. This marked the beginning of the end for Red Five Standing By. We played shows on and off the rest of the year, but in the end it was too much of a challenge to keep it going and Dave and Brandon were working on new material for a new project that was taking their time and focus. Since then they have gone on to work on several projects ... the latest being their band Hundred Year Storm which was signed to Floodgate Records this past year. These are a few snapshots of where it all began though. And although at the time I was really wrestling with a lot of decisions about my future and in the coming months would take my life in a drastically different direction ... I can still say that spring 2002 was one of the great times of my life. Our goal for the time being was to make rock 'n roll and to have a great time doing it. We made some great friends along the way and lost a few as well. The memories are wonderful and the laughs even better. Hope you enjoy finding them as much as I did.

ELEVEN HUNDRED SPRINGS

2007-01-22T20:03:00.000-08:00

Saw these guys at The Granada about a week ago. The show was unbelievable. Every time I see them it seems to be better. They are one of my favorites right now and probably will be for a long time. They are doing a great job of bringing back that old country western (with emphasis on western) style of music. Lots of fiddle. Lots of pedal steel. Honky tonk sound. It's just great. Reminds me of my roots and it's so refreshing to see other people my age (or at least close to my age) making this kind of music. If you want to listen go here or here.

ICE STORM CONSPIRACY

2007-01-15T14:55:00.000-08:00

Well, we had an ice storm ... so they say. By "they" I mean ... you know ... "they". The powers that be. The ones running this whole thing. At first I thought maybe Troy Duncan was one of "they" but I think it goes much deeper and he is just a pawn in this game of weather related cloak and dagger. You see, it started raining here on thursday or friday of lastweek. It was still very warm but apparently cold air and freezing rain were on the way. Friday night it turned cold and we were supposed to be iced in by Saturday afternoon. I drove 20 miles to Dallas and 20 miles back to my house that night ... no ice. We dodged a bullet they said. Sunday we would be iced in though. It worked out since I had made plans to do absolutely nothing anyways. I'll tell you ... it's been freakin' cold. And there has been ice on all the trees outside. So much so that many of them are leaning over. But the roads on Sunday again were fine. I wake up this morning and look outside. Ice on the trees, but the roads are dry. So where was all the ice? Why do you get us all psyched up for this stuff and then this is all we get. And yes, I saw all your television broadcasts of the people sliding around in there cars and getting into wrecks. Everyone else may believe you, but in the same way that my friend Dave believes the moon landing was shot on a sound stage, I believe we are seeing old footage of other apparent "ice storms" and not actual events that happened today. I just don't believe it. This ice stuff is nothing but a hoax. So go back to work people. Go back to school. It's okay to drive. And maybe it was best to heed their caution today as things don't always turn out so well for those who dig just a little too deep when it comes to north Texas ice storms.

WALK IT OUT, WALK IT OUT ...

2007-01-11T13:48:00.000-08:00

A COUPLE THINGS YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T DO ON THE TRAIN

2007-01-11T13:39:00.000-08:00

So I'm riding the train home lastnight from the Mavs game and experienced a few things that were very funny but are probably things you shouldn't really do when riding the DART train.

1) Please don't fart ... ever. But especially not when the doors are closed and the thing is so full that people are standing in the aisles. There's just no place for that stuff to go. It was awful. Everyone I was with was dying of laughter as we're trying our best to discreetly figure out who the cause of this awful smell was. We think it was the guy in front of me. This brings us to my next point ...

2) You probably shouldn't play loud music on your phone with iTunes and sing along. At first I thought the music was being piped in but then I saw the lady that was with the suspected farter holding her phone up and singing away. She sang the entire time she was on there. Mainly r&b with a little rap mixed in. Sometimes her farting husband would join in. This also made us all laugh a lot.

So in conclusion, it is obvious that both of these actions are very funny but I would probably suggest that you not do them on a regular basis when confined to such a small space with so many people. Just fyi.

ARE WE THROUGH WITH BLOGS?

2007-01-05T22:57:00.000-08:00

I have a list of several blogs I like to read over to the right. I usually check these everyday. Some are notoriously bad about writing but for the most part I expect there to be new material from some people every now and then. So I can't figure out why there hasn't been much new stuff lately. Mark Cuban and Pepe Guzman are usually pretty reliable but I'm not sure what's going on with everyeone else. Is the craze over? Was it a craze at all? Is it only my friends who have stopped writing? Is there nothing else to write about? Have we decided to communicate less through blogs and more through actual conversation? I'm just asking.

And p.s. ... does anyone read this anymore? I know I went through some down time but I feel like I'm back and trying to be more regular. Just didn't know if anyone stuck around through the drought. Again ... just asking.

2006 GOALS

2007-01-03T17:05:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of 2006 I posted a few goals I had for myself. That was one year ago to the day so let's have a little review.

1) professional - 100% of quota at work.
- how's 92%? Pretty good I think. This was actually a pretty lofty goal looking back on a lot of the difficulties that my job posed in 2006. It took a big surge at the end of the year to get to this point and that has made me proud of my effort and accomplishments of late. So even though I was 8% short we're going to call that goal accomplished.

2) personal - get a girlfriend
- accomplished. Fortunately "keep a girlfriend" was not one of the goals. I actually hesitated in writing about this one because I even though this was something I wanted to put a little more energy into I kind of said it as a joke. In the end it was something that came about all on its own and I think that's always the best way. At the time it was a really great thing and I in no way want to belittle it by simply checking it off a list. I had a girlfriend for almost 7 months of this year and we had a great time together. She was pretty, cool, and liked me back. I used to tell her those were the things I looked for in a girl. There obviously must be more to a realtionship than those things (although it's not a bad place to start) and I thought at some point we would have a deeper and more meaningful relationship. After a while though I realized we were never going to connect on the type of deep level that people need to connect on to continue a dating relationship in the direction of marriage. The hardest night of my year was trying to explain this to her in a way that was honest and open but mindful of her feelings and ultimately her future. It was impossible to say all that was on my mind and it pained me to know that she was hurt. In the end I hope we both realize it was better to end when it did than to go on for months and maybe even years with a relationship that would eventually end. I hope she is well and would say I'm thankful and happy for the time we had together.

3) attain beginner level on the piano
-failed miserably. I didn't even learn one note on the piano. I don't even have a piano. What was I thinking? This is actually something I'd really like to do but to be honest ... somewhere around the middle of February I think I may have forgot this was a goal of mine. I was so bad at accomplishing this that I'm not even going to make an attempt this year.

4) write enough songs for an album
-failed .... not miserably .... but failed. I have a real problem with follow through. I'm thinking I should probably end up someday with someone who is good at following through. Otherwise we're screwed. I'm constantly writing. Sometimes it goes down on paper and sometimes it is in my head until I fall asleep and is then gone forever. I've got several songs started and a few close to being finished. I think if I ever do decide to record anything I will most likely (and this will probably work to my advantage) take a bunch of unfinished pieces into the studio and pull them all together there. It's an environment where that is all you focus on and you know you have to finish.

So 50%. If this were baseball I'd be the best hitter of all time. I'm currently working on some goals for 2007. Stay tuned as I'm sure you're really excited to see what they are. Until then ...

CRAIG SANDWICH

2007-01-01T19:43:00.000-08:00

Below I will provide you with a paraphrased conversation I was told about. It's in reference to a certain birthday party of mine that I may or may not write about in the near future. But for now, enjoy this piece of conversation from Julie and Jessica.

Julie: The other night a group went out for Craig's birthday. While we were dancing I told two slutty looking girls it was his birthday. They knew exactly what to do and proceeded to make a "Craig sandwich" on the dancefloor.

Jessica: That's really funny. What kind of bread was it?

Julie (without missing a beat): Ho-wheat!

LITTLE SISTER BROUGHT HER NEW BOYFRIEND ...

2006-12-28T15:07:00.000-08:00

I loves me some Christmas. Love it. So much so that I end up with an inevitable Christmas hangover the next day which is why I took off from work and just laid in bed forever. All the food, family and fun are great but can definitely wear on you once it's all over. They obviously have no affect on my use of ridiculous alliteration though. So I love Christmas because it starts sometime during my Thanksgiving Day nap and ends for me sometime around 10:00 p.m. on Dec. 25. I also love that on Christmas Day everything totally shuts down. No shopping. No eating out (except for IHOP apparently). No nothing. And I love Christmas because not only does it remind me how great my family and friends are, but more importantly it reminds me of how funny they are. So here are a few stories for your amusement.

My family is great. And there are a lot of things they know a lot about ... but wine is not one of them. I readily admit to knowing nothing of wine myself ... but this stuff still makes me laugh. Sometime long ago in a land far, far away someone in my family had a glass of White Zinfandel. They found it to be very delicious and now for whatever reason it is considered the wine of all wines at family gatherings. Again, I know nothing of wine except really that this stuff is not good. In fact I would venture to say it's somewhere among the lowest of the low. But most in my family love it so that's what we drink. Even from a box if that's what's available. So fast forward from long ago in a land far, far away to Christmas Day 2006 at my grandparents. The only bottle of wine in the house oddly enough is a bottle of white wine ... Chardonnay I think. This is announce and my uncle immediately gets up from his chair and in a sort of heroic manner announces that he'll be right back with "the good stuff." He only lives about 500 yards down the road so he returned shortly with White Zinfandel in hand and the day was saved. Everyone was happy and the white wine could live to see another day.

On this same Christmas Day my cousin Leigh (it was also her 18th birthday) received a new Honda Civic from my grandparents. It's been a sort of tradition in our family for our grandparents to purchase a car for each of us at some point. It usually happens during college so Leigh and everyone else was definitely surprised to see it roll up with a big bow on it. So later in the morning my aunt, uncle (not Leigh's parents) and I go with Leigh to take the car for a spin. She asks were we can go and I suggest the convenience store for a little joke. So Leigh go's inside and buys several scatch off lottery tickets and a pack of Salem Lights. When we walk back into the living room where the rest of the family is gathered she tosses the lottery tickets to her mom and says, "could you hold these while I open my cigarettes? ... and oh, by the way, I'm getting married and there's nothing you can do about it." It was priceless. And possibly the comedic hit of the day.

Later that night I had Christmas with my more immediate family including my neice and nephews. I opened my present from my 6 year old twin nephews to find a shot glass checkers game ... complete with 26 shot glasses inside. Sam (twin #1) immediately starts to tell me that I can put my favorite drink in the glasses and the Eli (twin #2) proceeds to tell me the glasses are for juice. I loved it. Kids are really great. I'm sure in about 10 or 12 years they'll be digging through boxes in my basement looking for that thing.

All in all it was a great Christmas. I got some pretty sweet things I'd been wanting and felt like I got the chance to give some pretty great presents myself. It was a great time with family and a needed break from work. Hope yours was just as holly and just as jolly.

A BUSINESS QUESTION FOR THE SALVATION ARMY

2006-12-19T19:06:00.000-08:00

I was walking into Kroger today to buy groceries to the tune of an obnoxious bell being rung by a salvation army volunteer. It got me to thinking about the future success or failure of this type of fundraising. You see, if I had wanted to donate money to this person's bucket I would have been unable to do so. Why? Because I never have loose change. And why don't I have loose change? Because I never use cash. My options were to donate a 20 dollar bill or not donate at all. Again, I'm all for helping the less fortunate, but I can't afford to drop a 20 every time I walk into Kroger, Wal-Mart, the mall, etc. Now I doubt that we will ever get to a point where we have absolutely no cash ... but I think it is not out of line to assume that much less cash is used these days ... at least in certain areas and among certain people. I use a debit card for everything. It's just like cash but I don't have to worry about losing my money or what to do with loose change. So anyways, my thought was that the Salvation Army should set their bell ringers up with debit machines so people could go by, swipe their cards, enter an amount and be on their way. I think they could make a lot more money. Just a thought though.

Something else I've wondered about is the effect of DVR and Tivo on the advertising and television industries. I finally got DVR and it is amazing. The thing I've noticed and love is the fact that I can watch shows whenever I want without commercials. So now instead of making sure I'm home at a certain time to watch a certain show I just have the DVR set, go about my business and then watch the shows when I have free time throughout the week. An hour show is now only 40 minutes so I actually save time. I don't miss commercials at all, but I can't help but notice that companies paid a lot of money for the 20 minutes of advertising during the 1 hour show that more and more people are not watching. The simple way I've always understood how the advertising companies and television companies relate and do business is they use the period of "sweeps" to determine advertising rates for the coming period. So if a show is DVR'd in a household I wonder if it counts towards the number of households watching a certain show. Because if it is then the numbers will be skewed and advertising companies will be paying to broadcast a message to people who are fast forwarding through it. I wonder what the long term effect of this will be. It's obvious that television advertising will have to be less important so I wonder where advertising companies will pick up the slack. Internet? Billboards? Something totally new that I haven't even heard of before? Who knows. Anyways, just some things I was wondering about. Thoughts?

FANTASY WORLD

2006-12-14T12:36:00.000-08:00

I started playing fantasy baseball in 2002. We've kept the same league going since that time and aside from the sports aspect of it, it provides a way to stay in contact with some friends I wouldn't get to see or talk to otherwise. My fantasy baseball league is filled with some of the biggest sports nerds you will ever see. I would trust several of these guys to take GM positions with major league teams and hold their own. My fortune in this fantasy baseball league so far has not been so great though. Lots of finishes somewhere in the 4th through 8th slots.

One year I played fantasy basketball but it sucked so I stopped doing that. This season was my first attempt at fantasy football. I'm in a league with a few guys I know but for the most part I have no idea who the others dudes are I'm playing against. Wasn't sure how I would like it, but it's turning out okay. That could be partially due to the fact that my team is pretty awesome. In fact, I'm writing this post because from now until the end of the Monday night football game will be the most important matchup of my fantasy sports career. I come into the playoffs with my highest ranking of any fantasy sports team I've run. I'm in second place which secured me a first round bye last week so this week I'll be playing in the semifinal round of the playoffs. I've only been in the semis once before and that was on a fluke of an upset several years ago against my roomate Jason in fantasy baseball. I was easily whipped in the semi final round that year and my season was over. This year is a different story. So far it's been a season for the ages for the Helldorado Owens team which is part of the overall TBA Inc. We drafted Ladanian Tomlinson with our first pick and that guy has pretty much carried the team. Not sure if you heard but lastweek he broke the single season touchdown record. That doesn't hurt if he's on your team. Drew Brees was my backup QB and again, not sure if you've noticed, but he's pretty awesome and has permanently taken the job from Brady.

Anyways, all that to say ... root for Helldorado Owens this weekend as we take on Shut up T.O. for our chance at our first championship appearance in team history. It's going to be a great one. Hope you have your tickets because it's not on t.v. You know ... because it's just fantasy football.

IT'S OFFICIAL ...

2006-12-04T17:50:00.000-08:00

I'm sick. Anyone want to bring me some Nyquil so I don't have to go get it myself. I'll pay a delivery fee. Name your price.

You want to know the worst kind of being sick ... with the exception of the kind that kills you of course ... ? It's the kind where you are too sick to feel worth a crap, but not sick enough to not go to work. That was my day today. Unless something changes though it looks like I'll be having the best kind of sickness tomorrow. That's the kind where you can't go to work. Here's to hopin'.

FOND MEMORIES OF A CHRISTMAS PAST

2006-12-03T19:44:00.000-08:00

Today while fighting the urge to jab a pencil in my eye during my trip to Wal-Mart I was reminded of a favorite Christmas of mine. My memories of Christmas as a child and specifically as it related to presents was all about receiving gifts. First it was gifts from Santa that he left out the night before Christmas. Then as my sister and I grew a little older it was gifts from Santa that for some reason weren't under the tree when we woke up but according to our mother, Santa had until 10:00 a.m. on Christmas morning to get all the presents out and since we were obviously towards the end of his run we had better go back to bed and close our doors so Santa could deliver the presents. Low and behold when we came out 30 minutes later there were presents from Santa under the tree. Then finally sometime around my senior year in high school the gig was finally up (thank goodness) and we just got presents from our parents and family. The point of this is that we got presents. As kids, that was our focus. Getting presents. To be honest with you I can't remember the first year I got a present for someone else. I know it was at a fairly young age because I remember going with my grandparents or an aunt and uncle to pick something out for my mother. As my sister and I got older we bought a few more presents. Mom, step dad, grandparents, each other. We have a big family that always spends Christmas together and the adults always bought at least one present for everyone in the group. Being in high school and college I didn't really have the money to do this but stuck to my process of going in with my sister to buy presents for those closest to us.

I graduated college in December 2000. I moved to Austin a few weeks later and a few weeks after that quit my first job. I had already signed a lease on an apartment so I found any job I could. I ended up taking a job at Dillards working in the mens department. I worked that entire year making barely enough money to make ends meet each month. As the end of that first year on my own came to a close I decided it was time to be an adult and find a way to get presents for everyone. My sister and I as always went in together on presents to help with the costs but neither of us were in a position to spend much money. So we got creative. One of the designers at my store was giving away large golf umbrellas for people who purchased $50 or more. The rep told me I was welcome to have one of my own so I took one with me after work thinking this will make a great present. No one bought that particular type of clothing so a few weeks later there were a ton of umbrellas left. I figured if it will make one good present then it will make two.

My grandpa loves old country and western music. He would always complain though about records having only a song or two that he liked and that he usually didn't like the way they were played anymore. So I used Morpheus to download 16 of his favorite songs. It actually took more effort than it sounds like as this was the beginning of the music pirating era. He loved the gift.

The point of it all was to finally focus less on what people were giving me and more on what I could give other people. The examples I just gave you may sound comical but to be honest it was one of my best Christmas'. I had to work in Austin the day before and the day after Christmas so I had less than 24 hours to spend with my family on Christmas, but during the weeks of waiting to be home for Christmas I was able to take what little means I had and turn it into gifts for those I loved. They really weren't great gifts I guess but it meant a lot to me to be able to give them and to make the sacrifice to do so. I make a little more money now than I did back then so I'm able to purchase more attractive gifts these days. And although it's still a joy to give I just don't get the same feeling I got that Christmas. It was one of my best ever and I'll always remember it.

I KNOW, I KNOW ...

2006-12-01T16:22:00.000-08:00

Enough already. I get it. It's been forever since I've posted anything here. Why don't you sue me already. (is that how you spell "sue"? It seems like it should be different than the name "sue". Maybe not) Anyways, sorry for not writing more. Oddly enough this seems to be a trend among my few friends who are nerdy enough to keep a blog. By the way, every time I write or say the word "blog" I think of Randy Galloway saying "bbbllllog". Funny.

I feel like there has been a lot going on over the past few months. Lots of changes. New stuff. And sometimes too much stuff makes it too overwhelming to put into a few paragraphs every so often. So here are few random things to further bore you as you zone out in front of your computer screen.

First of all ... I took a big step a few months ago. I'm now a household of two. Now let's not jump to conclusions. It wasn't that big of a step. I just got a dog. Her name is Chloe. She's a 3 year old Golden Retriever. I got her from a family who had to get rid of her which is which first of all is why her name is "Chloe" ... not that it's a bad name ... but that's probably not my first choice. I've decided now to tell people that she was named after a certain blonde editor of "The Torch". She's a pretty cool dog and she seems to really like living here. She went from spending all her time (even nights) outside in a backyard to being able to sleep inside, be as lazy as she wants, and have lots of doggy friends to play with from time to time. Pretty good life for a dog.

I went to see some friends from Austin play a show lastnight at The Cavern on lower Greenville. Let me tell you something about thursday night shows when it is 20 degrees and snowing in Dallas. Not many people show up. And by not many people I mean myself, my friend Jaime, the bar staff, and the other band. It was good to hang out with friends that I don't see very often though.

On a completely different note ... I was in Kroger the other day getting groceries and I witnessed a person who is quite possibly the faster sacker of groceries I've ever seen. Want to know why this is noteworthy? Because she only had one arm! As I looked up in the checkout line to see her start bagging I though "why would they give this poor one armed girl a job where it is obviously beneficial to have two arms?" And then it was like Clark Kent went to town on my groceries. They were all in the bag and back in the shopping cart before I even knew what happened. I was amazed. So she is my new favorite Kroger employee.

Tyrone is my new favorite Whataburger employee.

Okay, it's time for me to go eat some delicious Mexican food. I promise a little more serious update on life around here in the near future. Until then ...

SOME FUNNY STUFF

2006-10-30T09:59:00.000-08:00

"Vampires are make believe ... like werewolves, gremlins, and eskimos" - Homer Simpson

I was thinking about the good ole college days yesterday and for some reason my old College Station phone number came to mind and made me laugh. I laughed because the number was 696-2662. Also known as 696-BOOB.

Lastnight I was buying groceries at Kroger and the girl that was sacking the groceries only had one arm. I have to say for a one armed girl she was pretty good at it. I just thought they could have found a better job for her than sacking groceries though. Because in sacking groceries, two arms are always better than one arm. I'm just sayin' ...

AMERICAN IDOL

2006-10-10T21:34:00.000-07:00

First of all a little geneology lesson.

My mom married my stepdad, A.C. He has a niece named Tina. I guess that technically makes her my step cousin right? Well, she recently got married and her husband has a son from a previous marriage that lives with them. His name is Jonathan Pilgrim. He is the one you'll need to know for this story and as I thought about how we're related it began to get complicated so I thought I would spell it out for you.

Here's the deal. Jonathan is a freshman music major at Baylor University. Apparently he wanted to try out for American Idol so recently when the tryouts were held in San Antonio he went down to take a shot at it. He went through 3 different rounds and was chosen to go on to Hollywood to continue the competition. I just found this out tonight and these are the only details I have. I'm not a fan of the American Idol and never watch it, but given the circumstance I see an exception being made. If you are one of the billions of people who also watch the show you should keep an eye out for him ... and vote for him. Jonathan Pilgrim.

SONGS

2006-10-04T15:04:00.000-07:00

Music amazes me. A lot of people have written a lot of music over the years. A lot of it is really good (at least according to me). But it takes a special person and situation to write something that transcends all expectation for what a song should be and what it should do. Lyle Lovett is one of my favorite writers. He writes so simply, but so beautifully. Anyways, the point of this is to just post some excerpts of some of the songs I've been listening to lately and that have meant a lot. I've found myself to be a little melancholy lately so the tone of my music has seemed to mirror that. A lot of the words however don't have anything to do with the things I've been going through or thinking about ... but I think they are amazingly written and should be shared. If you want to actually hear the songs you can find them on the internet or just come over to my house. So here you go:

And I'm wilder than her
It drives her out of her mind
I guess she thought that she was just one of a kind.
She's a summer storm
I'm a hurricane
One just blows through town and one blows the town away
And I'm wilder than her

-Fred Eaglesmith

She said that girl in the corner,
She's more than pretty
And man you're not the first to look over her way
If you still want
I could introduce you
But you never will be the same
The she looked at me and she laughed at me
And she extended her hand to me
And the rest they say is history

-Lyle Lovett

NFL NETWORK & TIME WARNER

2006-09-15T12:03:00.000-07:00

Remember how in my last post I was going on about how pumped I am to have NFL Network now? Well, I turned it on lastnight to a white screen with a message about how Time Warner and NFL Network couldn't work out some deal to keep in available on cable. What the hell? Aparently both sides blame the other for screwing this deal up. Whatever. Just put it back on. You can read about the situation as it relates in LA here. Pretty much the same in Dallas. Not happy about this.

SOME THINGS I WATCHED ON TV LASTNIGHT ... AND ONE THING I DIDN'T

2006-09-13T19:27:00.000-07:00

King of the Hill - man I love this show. My affection for it has just happened within the past few months. I'm not sure if I like it because it's so well written or because of its relevance to my life. Either way, this is one of my favorite shows right now and you can usually find me watching an episode or two after work on most days.

Dateline NBC "To Catch A Predator" - how many episodes of this are they going to do? It was funny lastnight because several of the guys who got arrested said they were afraid that would happen because they had seen the Dateline NBC show before. How big of an idiot can you be to fall for that? It's so uncomfortable to watch this show, yet somehow it's hard to turn it off. Most of the discomfort is from the realization that people like this are out there and are doing this ... a lot. You know they only catch a very small percentage of people who engage in this type of activity so there obviously must be thousands of cases of older men going to the houses of these young girls they meet on the internet. Another disturbing thing about this is when you realize that most of these guys are the types of guys you see everyday. They did an update tonight about a rabbi that was caught. They had another guy who was a volunteer worker at his church. Crazy stuff. Chris Hansen ... your show disturbs us all, but keep up the good work.

Matt Lauer interviews Debra LeFave - This chick is crazy. Not like wild crazy. More like straight jacket crazy. How do you get yourself in that sort of position? During the interview I thought she had shoes with straps that came up over the ankle. Turns out it was the tracking device she has to wear on her ankle for the next 10 years. By the way, why is she not in jail? All the guys on Chris Hansen's show were going to jail. Why not her?

NFL Network - holy crap. I've had this channel all along and didn't know it. I feel like a little less of a man for not realizing this until now. It's channel 180 though. I like to flip with the remote, but not that high. So I'll probably be watching a lot more football now ... if that was possible.

Rangers game - so the Rangers suck and are pretty much out of the race. It pains me to even watch them anymore so if the game is on I usually catch the first inning or two and then move on to something else. This was the case lastnight. Of course no big deal ... unless you consider Gary Matthews Jr. hitting for the natural cycle. That's a single, double, triple and homerun in that order. The cycle is one of the rarest things in baseball and the natural cycle has only happened about 15 times in the history of baseball. But I was watching freakin' Debra LeFave. Stupid Rangers.

GOAT FEST 2006

2006-09-05T13:32:00.000-07:00

Well, this past weekend a little event known as Goat Fest 2006 took place in Brady, TX. This was my first year to attend this great event that has been going on for many years. You see, every year Brady hosts the World Championship Goat Cookoff. This coincides with my friend Ty inviting a group of friends to the ranch his parents live on outside of Brady. It was a weekend that consisted of tons of fun, tons of food, time to relax and recharge, spending time with old friends while at the same time making new ones. Below you'll find an abridged log of the weekend.

Friday:

8:30 - leave Dallas

10:30 - stop at Wal-Mart in Brownwood, TX. I somehow feel like I'm back at Van Alstyne High.

12:30 - arrive in Brady

Saturday:

9:00 - wake up for cinnamon rolls.

See the unbelievable view from the deck off the house. Brady is right on the edge of the hill country and the house sits right on the side of a hill allowing you to see for miles. You feel like you can see all of Texas.
9:30 - the conversation naturally turns to fantasy football and the league which some of the guys are in together.

9:35 - some of the girls find themselves interested in the fantasy football talk.

9:37 - someone suggests we create another league and have a live draft as you can see below. My assistant coach Lindsay and I are convinced our team will win it all. Even having had the last pick.
11:00 - it's off to the goat cookoff.

Sometimes people buy dogs on a whim at the goat cookoff so I was fully prepared to do so. The only ones I found though were on leashes with owners who didn't think it would be funny if I took their dog. So no dog for me ... yet.

The food was delicious. The people are great. It makes me feel like I'm back in my own hometown ... only no one has known me since I was yay tall.

2:30 - nap time

4:00 - hanging on the deck with Jaime and Stephanie.

7:00 - continue fantasy football draft ... girls still loving it.

9:30 - It's street dance time with Wade Bowen.

Sunday:

11:00 - time for church. It was a great time of fellowship and worship with friends.

12:30 - that's right. It's time to eat again.

2:00 - conclusion of fantasy draft. Still confident that team "Let It Ride" will be victorious.
Jaime decides he needs to be in the "Let It Ride" team picture.

3:00 - nap time

6:00 - more food and time for kicking butt in any game anyone wanted to play.

12:00 - watch professional bull fighting on t.v. with the cool kids while all the old folks are in bed.

Monday:

9:30 - wake up call from the old folks who have been up for hours.

10:00 - eat some more great food

1:00 - it's time to hit the road again. Back to Dallas. But it was a great weekend and a much needed getaway. So glad to have gotten the invite and already anxious for Goat Fest 2007.

WHY SO NEEDY? .... BROTHER!

2006-08-30T16:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, so for the past few years Hulk Hogan has been cashing in on the whole celebrity in reality t.v. thing. I get it. His wrestling career is over and he could use a few million dollars to go along with millions he already has. And probably more importantly he figures if that tool Joe Simpson can make both of his daughters famous through one of these shows, then surely he can do it as well. So earlier I was watching an episode (rerun) where Nick, Hulk's son, had started dating a girl. He was spending a lot of time with her ... naturally ... and the Hulk didn't like it. Now when the Hulk is "The Hulk" he is awesome. The guy puts on a hell of a production for his audience. But when he is playing Terry Hogan he is so freakin' needy. I thought he was going to cry because he wanted to go shoot guns with Nick and then at the last minute Nick said he was going to hang out with his girlfriend. It was a pretty pathetic display from Hulk. If you really want your son to go shoot guns with you then just say, "get your ass in this car BROTHER!" and go shoot guns. You're Hulk Hogan for Pete's sake.

Now here's the other side of this thing that I don't get. His son Nick is just dating a regular girl from his school. She's not ugly or anything ... but dude, your dad is Hulk Hogan. Do you realize how many smokin' hot chicks you could get by just hanging out with him? Think about it.

So Nick, get with it and use your brain a little. And Hulk, please try to regrow a pair and stop being such a baby.

Thanks.

Management

SO HAPPY!

2006-08-15T10:54:00.000-07:00

I love Snack Pack chocolate pudding. Delicious! Have loved it for as long as I can remember. In fact, I used to take several containers of Snack Pack, empty them into a bowl, add whip cream, mix and then have a wonderful dessert. So a few weeks ago I was at the store so I picked up 3 Snack Packs. That is a total of 12 actual containers. The next day I needed a little snack so I got one out and after taking the first bite I realized something was not right. This was not my regular snack pack. After further investigating this odd taste I realized I had picked up the "no sugar added" version. I was hungry so I still ate them but decided not to eat the other 10 containers in the refridgerator. Then about two weeks later I was getting some food out of the fridge and noticed that two Snack Packs looked different than the other. Turns out there was only one unit of "no sugar added". Delicious and sweet chocolate pudding had just been sitting there with no one to eat it. So either I actually bought two of the right kind originally or I somehow found favor with the Snack Pack gods. Regardless ... yesterday was a good day around here. So here's to you Snack Pack.

MORE FUN WITH SECURITY ALARMS

2006-08-04T15:01:00.000-07:00

This post could also be titled "The result of good intentions and poor execution." If you read my post about setting off the alarm in my office a while back then you can imagine that security alarms are not my favorite thing in the world. And for some reason lately I've found myself in several situations involving security alarms and I have to tell you ... they haven't turned out well. Below is an account of my latest adventure.

So Allison bought a house several months ago and since she lives alone I can see the attraction towards and potential need for a security system. Don't like it ... but I get why she wanted it installed. After my fiasco at work I've pretty much been scared to even attempt to go in and shut this thing off if she's not there. I've done it once, but was very nervous about the whole thing. I don't know if it's a fear of stringing together multiple situations of setting alarms off or maybe the thought that if I set off the alarm and the police come out then I'll potentially have to face the music on several unpaid tickets I have (hopefully officer Dan is not reading this). So a few weekends ago I had some friends in town that I was hanging out with and Allison had a birthday party for a friend of hers so we went to our separate events and figured we'd see each other a few days later. Well, I ended up driving home around 10:30 and she had told me she wasn't going to be out late so I got the genius idea to go to her house and if she wasn't there I would just wait until she got home and she would hopefully be pleasantly surprised by the unexpected opportunity for us to hang out for a little while.

So this is where things go bad. I pull into the driveway, notice that she is not home so decide I'll take a chance with the alarm and go inside to watch t.v. until she got home. I go to the front door (constantly repeating the security code in my head), put the key in the lock, turn they key, open the door and then as I open it I hear the beeping telling you that you have 30 seconds to disarm the alarm. This all sort of happened in slow motion as I remember it. However the slow motion part quickly ended when the chain lock on the door caught. I freaked. Big time. I reached around in an effort to unlatch the lock but for obvious reasons that's not easy to do. I was screwed. I had no way to open that door but I knew that in about 20 seconds the alarm was going to start going off. I know it's loud inside but wasn't sure if it would be loud enough outside to draw the attention of any neighbors. I had called Allison just before arriving at her house and she didn't answer so I knew that if I called her to tell her what happened she wouldn't get the call. I also knew that if this were the case then there were going to be cops there shortly. Now I don't know what the "right" thing to do is in this situation ... but I got in the car and got my butt out of there. And I mean quickly. I thought to shut the door back but I left so quickly that I apparently forgot to lock it back. It did not take me long to realize there was no way I would be able to explain any of this to the cops and with Allison not answering her phone there was no way to verify my story or who I was. So talk about a good idea going all wrong.

A few things that I did not learn until later is that her parents are second on the list of people to call so they got a call about 10:45 at night about the alarm going off at their daughter's house and no one could get a hold of her on her cell phone. They apparently did not appreciate that. So I'm thinking maybe it was a little irresponsible to just take off like that ... but man, cops were coming and I did not want any part of that. And the moral of the story is ... if I ever get to Allison's house and she's not there, then I'll just be waiting in the car. I'm done with alarms. F-O-R-E-V-E-R!

WITH A LITTLE LOVE AND SOME TENDERNESS

2006-08-02T20:48:00.000-07:00

Well folks, in 1994 one of the best 3 chord pop rock albums in the history of mankind was released. That's right. I'm talkin' about Hootie and the Blowfish and their album Cracked Rearview. Well, 12 years later I can consider my life complete for having the chance to see these guys live. Talk about surreal. About every 5 minutes I would think to myself, "am I really here?" So last Thursday my friend Ty comes in and tells a group of us that Hootie is playing on Saturday night at Billy Bob's. That's right, Billy Bob's. I had already made plans with Allison so I was hesitant to suggest any change in those plans .... until I turned around to see her face lit up with an uncalculable amount of excitement over the possibility of seeing one of the most popular bands of our high school days. So we met a group of friends at Joe T. Garcia's for food and margaritas and then headed over to Billy Bob's for the show. I've got to be honest with you here ... you really haven't lived until you've been apart of thousands of people singing the following with Hootie.

"So I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standin' in the rain.
You don't have to call me darlin, darlin'.
You never even call me by my name."

That's living my friends. Not sure exactly what kind of life ... but at Billy Bob's with Hootie ... that's living.

So I learned a few things about myself during the experience. First of all, the margaritas at Joe T's are stronger than one might think. Secondly, I know way to many words to all the songs. And third, my nerdiness apparently knows no bounds.

IT'S ABOUT TIME FOR MY ARRIVAL

2006-07-17T22:10:00.000-07:00

So I'm in church this past Sunday morning. We're singing songs. The music is good and creating what I would consider an atmosphere condusive to worship. And then all of a sudden one of the girls singing on stage goes all Christina Aguilera on us. My state of reverence quickly turns to me leaning over to my sister who is seated next to me and whispering, "since when does Christina go to this church?" It wasn't just once either. This girl went off. Up and down the scale on every note. Over and over ... and over. I'm all for using the talents God gives you but man, I thought we were going to go straight from "Amazing Grace" into the First Baptist version of "I Am Beautiful". It was a little over the top.

While I'm on it I'd like to make another point. First of all I'd like to say that I think way too much importance is put on music in most churches today. I don't mean the church spends too much time or resources on this. I just mean that more often than not a church is judged on the quality of their presentation and music is a large part of this. My point is that the quality and type of musical presentation has nothing to do with a church being a healthy body of believers. If you can show me otherwise somewhere in the Bible then so be it, but I'm pretty sure it's not there. I could go on and on about this but that's not the point I wanted to make. My point is much more light hearted and trivial. Music is obviously a large part of most worship services. Every church seems to have their own take on how this should be carried out. Some are very traditional and only sing hymns. Some are very contemporary and seem almost like going to a rock 'n roll show. Most however fall somewhere in between. At my church they have a band, sometimes a choir, a guy who leads the music and then 4 additional singers with microphones on stage to back up the main guy. This group usually consists of 3 women and 1 man. It cracks me up because they're really into it. I mean really, really into it. It's sometimes like they're trying to fill childhood dreams of being Michael W. Smith ... or whoever the female equivalent would be. (by the way, I know of a few but I won't make myself look any more foolish by actually naming their names). It just makes me laugh because they just try so hard sometimes. Like the aforementioned Christina Aguilera wannabe. The thing about being on stage is that it's hard to fool the people watching you. If you're genuine in your singing and worship I think that shows ... but the second you throw just a hint of showmanship in there ... trust me, we can tell. I really have no complaints about this. I just find it funny to see 40 something men and women on Sunday morning trying their best to someday grace the cover of CCM. And with that last comment it's official ... I spent too much time in youth group. It sure would have been funny if after the last song one of the singers finished with "what .....!"

RECOMMENDATION FROM AN INSOMNIAC

2006-07-16T23:12:00.000-07:00

I took a rather long nap in the late afternoon/early evening today so now with only a few hours before I'm suppsed to be up getting ready for work I find myself unable to sleep so I figured I would write a little. I'd like to take this opportunity to suggest a great t.v. show to you. I started watching this show last season when it debuted and now in its second season it is becoming one of my favorite shows. It's on FX and is called "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia". It's about 4 people in their late 20's who live in Philadelphia, own/operate a bar, and deal with real issues in the most ridiculous ways possible. Their t.v. spots have been saying critics are making Seinfeld comparisons and although that's pretty lofty company, I can see this being a sort of modern day version of Seinfeld. Like most FX shows, it has a very loose and free flowing production style. I like this and think is a direction most television seems to be heading in the coming years. FX has pioneered many of these types of shows and apparently has the ratings to support this shift in television programming. So anyways, go check out this show. It comes on Thursday nights at 9:00 on FX. If it doesn't make you laugh then I suspect there is something a little wrong with you.

Now I will try this sleep thing again. Hopefully it works better this time. I'm all out of Nyquil which is making this process very difficult. Hopefully I won't have to resort to Scotch.

NEW MUSIC

2006-07-10T11:38:00.000-07:00

I bought this record about a month ago and it has been in heavy rotation ever since. In addition to my love of fast paced, melodic, indie rock I have a special place in my heart for the kind of music I grew up with. It's country from the old days. Roots music. Americana. Country with a difinitive western influence that is nothing like and should not be associated with what most people know today as country music. It was music that told stories about life, love, hardship, journies and home. The music told every bit as much of the story as the words did. It was music that was born and raised in dancehalls, honkeytonks and beer joints from Texas to California. And those are the same places it survives today. It uses instruments like the fiddle and steel guitar which have been all but lost in today's version of country music. Eleven Hundred Springs is a band from Dallas that is definitely keeping the old traditions alive. With infuences that seem to range from the Bakersfield sound of Buck Owens to the western swing sound popularized by Bob Wills they run the gamut of what was and can still be great about counrty music. I saw them live for the first time the other night and was amazed. They opened with an old tune called San Antonio Rose and continued seemlessly mixing old classics with their own new version of western music. Everyone danced. Everyone sang along. And everyone had a few drinks along with the band. It was a great night to be a Texan and a lover of Texas music. And if any of you are still a little skeptical about the coexistence of my love for indie rock and this type of music you should know I'm not the first to feel this way. Mark Reznicek is the drummer for Eleven Hundred Springs. He used to drum for another Dallas based band called The Toadies. They did alright for themselves back in the '90's in the world of rock 'n roll. So if you're interested you can check these guys out here or here. Let me know what you think.

"... you don't like my music
You don't like my song
You say you want to party
You say you want to rock 'n roll
Well that carbon copy music
Don't mean a damn to me
Hank Williams wouldn't make it now
In Nashville, Tennessee."

WHY THE HELL NOT?

2006-07-05T18:39:00.000-07:00

Everyone say hello to Mr. Kinky Friedman, the next governor of the great state of Texas. I'm not a huge history buff but if I'm not mistaken, the last independent candidate to be elected governor of Texas was a man by the name of Sam Houston. Kinky is making plans to be the next. And with slogans like, "why the hell not?" and "how hard could it be?" why wouldn't he be a shoe in for the job. He is an author, musician, Texas cultural icon and is now looking to put governor at the end of a long list of titles he has held.

Oddly enough, Mr. Friedman's brash disregard for anything traditional or mainstream as far as state politics go has officially landed his name on the ballot along with governor Perry, democrat Chris Bell, and some lady that calls herself "the grandma". He has garnered a lot of support around the state in the past few months and whether he wins or not he intends to at the least be heard while he is allowed the microphone in his hands on such a big stage.

So take a peak at Kinky's thoughts and intended actions on various issues in this election here. And whether you vote for him or not I hope you'll at least enjoy the show he puts on as he tries to convince the state of Texas to collectively stand up and give governor Perry a big, "Adios Mofo!" More on that here and here.

SHERMAN SWAT

2006-06-23T10:24:00.000-07:00

So I got to the office really early this morning and as I pulled up into the parking lot it became apparent that I was the first one there. I usually work from home and when I do go to the office I'm for sure never the first one there. So when we had a security system installed several months ago I didn't pay much attention because I figured I'd never have to use it. So today was the day I had to face the security system. I remembered my pass code but wondered if there were other buttons that had to be pressed in addition to the pass code. You see once you open the door you only have a certain amount of time to disarm the system. When that time is up you had better cover your ears because it's going to get loud. I sat in my car for a few minutes listening to the radio, hoping someone else would pull up, but no one showed. So finally I got out, unlocked the door, went in, and heard the system beeping. I go to the key pad and punch in my code. When I do this the beeping stops so I think to myself, "hmmm, that must have disarmed it." Before I could complete that thought the thing started going off. Alarms are not quiet my friends. They hurt your ears. So on top of my ears hurting I was expecting the SWAT team to come flying through the windows at any moment to take me away to jail. I called my boss to tell her what I had done and she laughed at me a lot. I'm glad she thought it was funny though. I've had plenty of bosses who would not have been as amused. She arrived minutes later and sure enough the police showed up just after she did. I was acquitted of any wrongdoing and set free, but not without more laughs from my boss. Everytime someone new came in the office she would laugh and say, "hey, Craig set off the alarm this morning." It made me laugh and was a pretty sweet start to the day.

MY STATE OF DEPRESSION

2006-06-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

I think the title sums up my past couple of days in regards to what happened to our great basketball team here in Dallas. We lost ... I'm depressed ... it's okay, I'll get over it sometime before next season. That's all I want to say regarding this and will now move on to some of the other thoughts flying through my head lately. In bulleted form of course. Enjoy!

-I'm not a fan of soccer. I played as a kid and enjoyed that but as an adult I just can't get into it. I get the fanfare and I think that is cool. But we already have that here. It's called college football. I just heard that the U.S. got beat and is now out of the World Cup. Thank goodness. I'm tired of hearing about it on Sportscenter. Everyone said our team was going to be pretty good and should have easily made the next round. I think the Iraq war was only supposed to last a few months and then our guys would come home to a ticker tape parade. I think the Greeks (the ancient ones) called it hubris.

-I got some new Converse All-Stars this past weekend.

-I sometimes equate hotdogs to Krispy Kreme doughnuts. At the time you feel like you can eat 4 or 5 comfortably, but then later your body reminds you it is only cut out for about 3. It was $1 hotdog night at the Rangers game lastnight. Enough said.

-In regards to the previous point, it's sad when you can buy 6 hotdogs for the same price as one watered down beer.

-I have a couple of new ... and by new I mean this has happened within the past 6-8 months ... places to eat. As a child I was not a fan of the Chinese food. And although I'm sure this would be considered the farthest thing from actual Chinese food I've still become a huge fan of Pei Wei and Panda Express. I prefer Panda while it's light outside and Pei Wei when it's dark. I don't know why.

-We're in a stage 3 drought here in North Texas and in McKinney you can only water your yard on your trash day and only before 10:00 a.m. or after 6:00 p.m. So now when people ask what I'm doing on Wednesday night I say I'm staying home to water the yard. I'm such an old man. But if I don't get it done I have to wait an entire week to water my already dried up excuse for a lawn.

-Does anyone know if you can die from Tetanus? And if you get it do the symptoms get progressively worse or just sort of stay the same while quietly eating away at the inside of your body? The reason I ask is because last weekend I got a small cut on my hand from an old tape measure. The tape was broken at one point and it cut me. I didn't think much about it but the next morning my left jaw was kind of sore and hard to open. It's been this way all week and I'm wondering if I have lockjaw. It hasn't gotten worse but it hasn't gotten better. Any doctors out there? I think I probably had a tetanus shot a few years ago but I'm not 100% sure. I would just go to the doctor but apparently my insurance I get through work isn't as good as I thought. I thought I was supposed to have like a $25 copay for doctors visits. I just got a bill in the mail from my doctor for $53. The total bill was only $75. Nice to know I'm being taken care of.

-In a related story, I was telling Allison that I think I might have tetanus and she kept accidentally referring to it as tetris. I hope you don't have tetris .... damn it ... I mean tetris ... crap I did it again. TET ... AAA ... NUS.

-Speaking of Tetris ... I remember in college how my roomates/friends and I got really addicted to that stuff. Whoever was sitting at the computer usually played for hours on end. It got so bad that when I would lay down to go to sleep at night I would close my eyes and instinctively start to visualize tetris pieces falling into place. I asked around and apparently I wasn't the only person that happened to. I think Tetris is one of the greatest games ever. Along with Super Mario Bros. of course ... and maybe Halo .... and Donkey Kong. Not Mortal Combat though.

-The Rangers won today. Woohoo!

ANYONE SPOT THE FOUL?

2006-06-19T15:20:00.000-07:00

TRYING NOT TO ACT LIKE A SPURS FAN

2006-06-18T22:01:00.000-07:00

I can't remember a time recently that I've been this pissed. I hate to make excuses and I for sure hate the complain about the officiating in a basketball game but give me a freakin' break. The Heat shooting close to 4 times more free throws than the Mavericks in game 5 is ludacris. I understand that one team may be attacking the basket more than the other team but there just can't be this type of discrepancy. And then to call a foul with 1.9 seconds for a guy putting his hand on the shooters back is insane. You cannot let the game be decided from the free throw line like that unless it is a totally obvious foul. All that coupled with the Stackhouse suspension which adds fuel to an already furious fire has really gotten me worked up tonight. Now for a little less biased talk. First of all, Dwayne (or however he spells it) Wade is awesome. He has a lot of that Jordan look about him when he gets the ball in his hands. You can bring your best defense but if he's on his game there is little you can do to stop him. Shaq is a joke from the free throw line. Dirk is one of my favorite Mavs players of all time so it kills me that he is really choking on this stage. I know he is playing against tougher defense in Haslem than he has been used to during most of the finals, but if he is going to be the superstar that people claim he is or can be then he has to find a way to get his game on track. He has missed so many open jump shots. And the free throw misses when it was clutch time are inexcusable. Jet Terry has been amazing and I think almost single handedly kept us in this series. If we win the series I think he has to be a serious MVP candidate ... at least based on his performance thus far. I would like to give a huge middle finger to the Dallas media. All I've heard from them up until a few days ago was how the Mavs were going to sweep the series and the Heat didn't have a chance. Were these people not around 2 years ago when the Lakers went up 2-0 on the Pistons only to lose the next 4 games? So guys, give me a break and have a little perspective. Read your classics so you'll understand that hubris is not a good thing for anyone to display after only getting half way to the championship. And all that talk about the parade doesn't help either. So let's welcome our team back to Dallas, rally around them and get the job done on Tuesday night. Until then ...

MIDDLE FINGERS TO THE HIGHLAND PARK POLICE DEPT

2006-06-06T14:20:00.001-07:00

So here are my thoughts on state inspection stickers. You pay 39.50 to get that little sticker on your car. After a year if you don't pay another 39.50 you are subject to receiving a citation from a police officer. Usually if you get a ticket you can get the inspection done in 10 business days or less and have it dismissed. So let's say I go 4 months past the expiration before I get a ticket and have to cough up another 39.50. That means that I have now reduced the cost of the previous year from 39.50 to (hold on while I get a calculator) 29.62. The longer I'm able to go without getting a ticket, the less I pay per year for the inspection. You follow? Once my inspection sticker has expired I try to be a little more cautious and aware of cops around me.

So last week I was going over to Allison's apartment to watch LOST when the following string of events occurred. First of all I usually drive down her alley in order to come around to the front of the apartment and park without having to turn around in the street as you can only park on one side of the street. There was a car blocking the entrance so I went to the front. There is a weird intersection just past her apartment where I turned left. I could have sworn I stopped here but as I was unaware of my impending run in with the lawdogs so I forgot to make a mental note. I turn lefta and go on about my business. I couldn't find a parking spot so I make a u-turn back to the same intersection. This time I notice a cop sitting at the intersection so I make it a point to stop. I turn right and pull in front of the apartment building. Immediately this guy is behind me with lights flashing. Long story even longer, I got two tickets. One for my inspection sticker being out of date (no problem) and one for running the stop sign. I am almost positive I didn't run it but I figured if I tried to question or fight this he would end up having it on video and I didn't need that waste of time or pride. So on the ticket it actually states that I rolled through the stop sign at 3 mph. That's right people. 3 mph. Where I come from that is more than a stop. You know what you get for rolling through a stop sign at 3 mph? You get to pay the city of Highland Park $188. What the hell? I try to have a healthy appreciate for law enforcement but this jackass makes it very hard. Someone was probably knocking over a liquor store while he was writing me a ticket for rolling through a stop sign.

So I salute the men and women of the Highland Park police dept. And I do so with two birds raised high and pointed in your direction.

Reflections from Wisconsin

2006-06-05T17:31:00.000-07:00

So this past weekend I went to Marshfield, WI (don't ask me to point it out on a map because I can't) for the wedding of my friend Shane. Below you will find the highs, lows and a few points from somewhere in between.

-Midwest Airlines is my new favorite airline. If you ask, "is it the Southwest of the midwest?" I would say, "yes." I studied this company in college but have never flown with them before. The entire plane is first class style ... i.e. 2 seats on each side instead of 3, big leather chairs with a console in between, footrests, etc. Everyone in the company was extremely helpful and nice and to top it all off when you walk down the jetway you catch the smell of freshly baking chocolate chip cookies. That's right, they bake them on board and serve them hot and chewy. Delicious.

-Midwest Connect is now my least favorite airline. This is the little tiny puddle jumping prop plane I took from Milwaukee to Mosinee, WI. It was an hour long flight and the first 30 minutes were fine. The final 30 minutes were like riding the Texas Giant rollercoaster for a half hour at 15,000 feet. I almost lost the delicious cookies from the earlier flight. At one point the butts of all 20 passengers (that's right, 20 passengers and the flight was full) came out of their seats. Everyone's hands were flung up over their heads and audible gasps were heard from everyone. Several times I wondered if the pilot really knew how to fly. He would speak on the intercom but the plane was so loud no one could hear him. At one point I wondered if he was saying, "ladies and gentlemen please prepare for a crash landing." That wouldn't have surprised me that much.

-I made some great new friends this weekend. It's cool how people from totally different parts of the country can mesh so well and have such a great time. You can meet some of them on my myspace page if you're so inclined.

-You know how at a reception in Texas you have a glass of water and then usually your only other option (other than alcohol) is iced tea? Well if you're in Marshfield, WI and it's the middle of DairyFest then your other option is milk. I saw a waitress with a tray full of milks and thought it must be for some poor kids whose mom makes them drink milk at dinner. But then I saw tray after tray of milk going out to the tables. I only drink milk if it accompanies chocolate chip cookies, oreo cookies or a peanut butter sandwich so I refrained. But I thought it was cool.

-Stretch limos can't make it over the same types of humps that regular cars can go over.

-I think the open bar is one of the greatest inventions of all time. Seriously. Name something more genius than that.

-Apparently at a reception if everyone starts hitting their glasses with a spoon that means the bride and groom have to make out. I had never seen this before but apparently it's pretty common. Seems kind of annoying to me. But then again, I wasn't the one getting to make out.

-This was one of the top 5 weddings of which I've been involved. The reception lasted almost 7 hours. That's right. 7 hours. We had dinner at 6:00 and then ordered a lot of pizzas around 10:00. How cool is that? 11 piece swing band for the entertainment. And all the rail drinks you could consume.

-Apparently in Texas we call them wells and not rails (see above point)

-So I'm standing at the front of the church (I was a groomsman and that's usually what groomsmen do) during the wedding and they start to play the first song. As the intro goes on I'm thinking, "what in the world is this song?" And then as the lyrics starts it hits me. I then think, "please tell me you're not playing a Rascal Flats song in the middle of your wedding." It was true. I would be really pissed if someone tried to play that song in my house so I can only imagine how God must have felt.

-On the plane ride home I sat next to a 10 year old kid that was wearing one of those cheese head hats. I don't think he was wearing it out of pride for his state or their football team. I guess he either thought it would keep the sun out of his eyes, or he thought everyone was wearing them. Regardless, it made me laugh.

-Wisconsin was wonderful and I'd go back anytime but it was so great to step off the plane into 95 degree weather and go straight to the home of some friends for a dinner of Frito chili pie and Shiner Bock. Thanks so much friends for the welcome back.

NEW BLOG

2006-05-17T11:37:00.000-07:00

I've decided to move all sports talk to its own location. I know there are several of you who enjoy such topics so please feel free to read and comment. I figure my analysis will always be biased and skewed so I'm counting on the likes of people like Mark, Christian and Jeremy to add some bias in opposite directions to even things out. There's not much up yet, but hopefully more will come very soon. You can check it out at dallassportsfanatic.blogspot.com. For those not interested, I hope you will still enjoy my ridiculous thoughts on non sports related matters.

DEAR MTV

2006-05-16T09:57:00.000-07:00

Yo Momma? Seriously? Please tell me you fired the person who thought this would be a good idea. And please tell me you fired the person who after initial poor ratings and feedback decided to put the show in every time slot to boost the already poor ratings. If those guys aren't maning a register at the local McDonald's then I have some serious worries about the future of your organization. I don't know if anyone noticed but Wilmer Valder ... Valder ... Notgoingtoworkhereanymore is not from the streets and on top of that is not funny. He's funny in That 70's Show because let's face it (and no offense is meant) foreign kids with funny accents always make us laugh. And the jokes they use on the show are awful. We came up with much better stuff when I was in high school. I remember being on the bus going to a baseball game one time and when the bus backed up it started to beep as buses do. One of the guys looked at another guy and said, "hey, your mom makes that same sound when she walks backwards." Now that's good stuff. Not that crap you get on the show. The other day one of the guys drew a blank and had absolutely nothing to say. Do you guys not have enough money to pay for a writer or two?

So please MTV ... for the love of all things holy in pop culture ... please send little Fez back to whatever country he came from and let me go back to wasting entire Saturdays in front of a good old fashioned Real World marathon.

WAKEBOARD COMPETITION

2006-05-15T16:59:00.000-07:00

My cousin Will entered his first wakeboarding competition a few weeks ago so Allison and I decided to go over to Fort Worth and check it out. My suspicions were immediately comfirmed that we would be well above the average age person in attendance, although we were actually no where near the oldest. Nothing like seeing 40 something moms drinking Miller Lite out of a cooler in the back of their truck while they cheer on their kids. I make fun of the Miller Lite part but I actually love the fact that many parents were there in support of their kids. Wakeboarding has definitely brought watersports into the mainstream these days and so it's great to see parents support kids in things other than the traditional sports. I'm amazed at what most of these kids can do on a wakeboard. Whenever I get the chance to get on the water I give it my best try, but I'm old and definitely don't know how to fly as far as most of these kids do. I'm sure I'll keep trying though until I break bones or come home with a concussion. Yes, I'm pretty sure hitting water at 25 mph can potentially do both of those things.

On a somewhat related note, my friend who owns the boat I went out on last summer sold the boat a few weeks ago. So if any of you have a boat and need another person to come along and make a fool of himself by holding onto a rope while standing on a little board behind the boat then I'm your man. Here is a pic of Will at the competition. He didn't win but we all had a great time. And this white boy got a little much needed sun.

MAVS PIMP SLAP THE SPURS

2006-05-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

I tell you what. On a tuesday night in May, nothing makes me feel better than seeing the Mavericks dismantle the whiny Spurs like they did lastnight. Now first of all, if there are any Spurs fans reading I first of all question why we are friends. Second of all I question your judgement skills. And third, I tell you to suck it up because I'm about to rail on your team. It could be that the Spurs are worn out from the series with Sacramento. It could be that the Spurs continual whining over calls did not pay off the way it did in game one. But I would argue that lastnights game was a direct result of the Mavericks being the most awesome team ever ... in Texas ... this decade. Devon Harris was inserted into the starting lineup to add some offensive firepower and it paid off big time with Harris scoring 20 points as he dismantled the Spurs interior defense. Josh Howard was unstoppable and Jerry Stackhouse was lighting up that corner 3 pointer all night. Dirk never tried to force shots against the bear hug defense of Bruce Bowen and still scored 20 plus. It was an all around team effort that should convince anyone who watched that the Mavericks are a team with the potential to win it all this year.

Now to the Spurs. What's with all the whining? I know this is nothing new for them, but it just seems like it always gets worse. I wonder who whined first. The team or the fans. Do their fans just assume that all other fans in all other arenas whine the way they do? Just a little fyi to Spurs fans ... most other fans actually know a thing or two about basketball and don't feel the need to cry a river everytime something doesn't go the way that Tim Duncan or Tony Parker wants it to go. Speaking of Tim Duncan, I think that guy is the biggest cry baby off all. I'm trying to remember if David Robinson was ever that way or if he would have kicked Tim's ass for acting like a little girl after every foul. I know Avery Johnson has a strong connection with the Spurs and with Pops but I think he realizes he's part of a much cooler team and organization now.

So enough railing on the Spurs. That game lastnight was awesome though. I don't expect to see that level of embarrassment again in this series as I'm sure the Spurs will regroup and bring their A game on Saturday in Dallas. But I still hold to my prediction that I made to Jeremy of Dallas in 5. We'll see what happens. The next game is in Dallas on Saturday at 4:00 on ESPN I believe. You should check it out.

BIGFOOT ATTACK

2006-05-08T16:33:00.000-07:00

One of the things I really enjoy is fly fishing. I'm not that great at it, but there's something about it that keeps me coming back. As you can imagine there are no trout streams in my immediate vicinity here in the Dallas area so in order to fish for trout I have to make a little drive. The closest trout stream is in southeastern Oklahoma and so this past weekend a friend of mine and I packed up the car and headed up to Beavers Bend State Park to camp on Saturday night and fish all day Sunday. We set up camp, cooked dinner, hung out for a while and then decided to hit the sack.

I think at this point I should give you a little background information to help explain why what I'll later tell you is funny, beyond the actual humor of the situation. I've camped in this area several times now and I remember shortly after my first trip there I was watching The Discorvery Channel and saw a show on Bigfoot. You know ... big ape looking thing ... lots of people claim to have seen one ... said people usually have a few teeth missing and one can only assume a few brain cells missing as well ... there is still no proof that they actually exist ... etc. Anyways, this show covered several stories of sightings and most of them were in Oklahoma. In particular around the Broken Bow and Beavers Bend areas. And if you've never been in this area I would say it is a great place for a Bigfoot to live. Trees and mountains for miles on end. You could get lost out there for days before running across a road, house, or person. I don't exactly believe in any of these Bigfoot theories, but at the same time it was duelly noted that we were camping in Bigfoot country with nothing but a dull pocket knife and fry pan for protection.
So we're getting ready to go to sleep and my friend decides he needs a little bedtime snack so he opens up a couple of the honey buns we had brought for breakfast. This is not bear country so I don't get too concerned by this and I think nothing of the fact that he put the opened wrappers back in the box and set it down at his feet inside the tent. After sleeping for several hours I wake up to my friend hitting me and infatically telling me to wake up. In a daze I ask what was going on. In a very freaked out voice he says, "something's trying to get in the tent." He said he woke up to something pushing in the side of the tent and touching him. I about half didn't believe him and so I rolled over to go back to sleep. He continued to plead his case so I told him (with no success) to go outside and see what it was. About that time I saw the side of the tent being pushed in and something scratching or biting near the place the food was set. I've seen various friends freak out about various things over the years, but this was a doozy. I assumed it was a racoon ... the small holes in the side of the tent would indicate as much as racoons have some pretty sharp claws that could cut a hole in a tent ... but of course couldn't resist the temptation to suggest that Bigfoot could be outside our tent looking for his next meal. So my friend (by the way, I'm referring to him as "my friend" in order to hide his identity as some of you probably know him and would make fun of him. It is not an effort to cover up actions of my own) moved the food away from the side of the tent to see if this would curb the advances of the coon or Bigfoot, whichever was outside.

I soon fell back asleep for the rest of the night. Apparently the intruder did not come back as my friend lay awake most of the night unable to fall asleep again.

So the moral of the story friends is even if you're not in bear country or Bigfoot country, you're always in racoon country so it's a good idea to seal up all food and trash when camping and not keep it inside the tent. Oh yeah, and don't forget to keep a camera handy in case it is Bigfoot that's trying to get your honeybuns. You'll probably be dead, but if anyone ever finds the pictures your next of kin could be very wealthy. Just fyi.

ADDITION TO AN EARLIER POST

2006-05-08T16:16:00.000-07:00

It was brought to my attention that this is not just on bumper stickers. Apparently there is a whole line of clothing. The creator/designer is a lady who had several family members deal with breast cancer and she found an opportunity to help make a difference. The company gives 5% of every sale to breast cancer research. You can check it all out here. And see Hillary Duff's sister sporting her new ta-tas shirt below.

Mavs Mania

2006-05-02T06:38:00.000-07:00

Alright, who's pumped about the Mavericks? If you're not on board you had better get there fast my friends. The Mavs beat the crap out of the Memphis Grizzlies lastnight to sweep their first round series. For you non sports or non Mavs fans here are a few tidbits about the series. It was the third playoff series in the history of the Grizzlies franchise. All three trips have been in the last 3 years. As the NBA plays best of 7 series that guarantees they have played at least 12 playoff games over that 3 year span. They have won 0 games and lost 12. That's right. They have never won a playoff game ... having been swept 3 straight years. Until lastnight the Mavericks had never swept a playoff series from another team.

I had the opportunity to go to game 2 of this series in Dallas and the atmosphere in the AAC was amazing. Part of it might have been the fact that I was 7 rows behind the basket so I had a little better perspective and view of what was actually happening on the floor as opposed to if I was sitting up in the rafters where I belong. It also may have been due to the camera that was 3 feet from me putting my entire mug on the jumbo tron. I'm pretty sure my excitement was contagious enough to get the 18,000 people who saw me pumped about the game. I can't take full credit for the Mavs win ... but I sure would hate to see what happened if I hadn't of been on the jumbo tron. I'm just saying ... it could have been bad.

For those of you who live near Central Expressway in Dallas or in the Garland area you should always ride the DART train. What a stroke of genius by the city when they put that in. I got on at the northern most stop, met a certain friend of mine at Mockingbird Station and then we rode the train on down to Victory Station right outside of the AAC. The trip down and back cost me $2.50. No parking, no traffic, very little waiting. I was excited to see the number of people who are using this resource. Reminded me a little of coming and going on the red line to a game at Wrigley. Anyways, that's my plug for DART. Go ride it if you can. Or if you're in Fort Worth and want to come to Dallas just hop on the TRE.

And finally, if you want to support the Mavs by sporting a "Dirk is my Homeboy" T-shirt as seen above then go here to order one. Apparently these are illegal as the sellers do not have permission from Dirk. I've heard members of his family are mad and have already shut down one site that was selling the t-shirts. That is why they have moved to myspace I guess. So get them while you can. They may be gone soon. The Mavs get a little break and then either San Antonio or Sacramento in the second round. Get pumped everybody.

BUMPER STICKER

2006-05-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

I saw one of the funniest bumper stickers I've ever seen the other day. I should probably begin with a disclaimer about my lack of intentions to offend anyone. I understand the seriousness of breast cancer and am fully supportive of research to find a cure for this disease. This is a disease that has affected friends and family so I'm not without perspective on the gravity of this issue. That being said, the other day I was driving home and saw a truck with a bumper sticker. On the bumper sticker was the ribbon seen above and over the top of the ribbon were the words, "Save The Ta-Ta's".

I know. I've never seen a better use of humor to bring attention to a very serious issue. I intentionally slowed down so the truck would pass allowing me to confirm what I thought I saw. Genius.

For information on breast cancer and how you can get involved go here and here.

On an unrelated note ... sorry for the lack of postings lately. Combo of being really busy and writer's block I guess. Stay tuned as more genius postings should be forthcoming.

A GREAT SALESMAN

2006-04-04T20:36:00.000-07:00

So I'm walking into Kroger tonight to buy some groceries and as I approach the front door I see this salesman waiting to strike as I enter the store. He's looking me right in the eyes the entire time I'm approaching the door and then as I step up on the sidewalk he makes his move.

Now being in sales is a tough business. I know. It's what I do everyday of my life. Every salesman, if he's worth anything has a strategy when approaching a potential customer. In the old days sales was all about relationships. The other guy may be selling his product for a lower price but if you found a way to become friends with your customers and if you earned their trust then you would usually win the sale. That still exists in a lot of arenas today but most customers are very price conscious these days and the good ole boy sales methods don't always cut it, unless you're really good. So now we don't sell products, we sell solutions. We help the customer find a pain, or problem in their life and then present a solution to fix that pain. Strategy people. That's all it is. Going in with a plan. Plan your work and work your plan. That's what they say in all those boring sales meetings at least.

So back to Kroger. This was not the first salesperson I've met outside of Kroger that used this strategy. And I have to admit that in the past I've fallen prey to the tactics this type of salesperson uses. So I walk up and am met by an 8 year old kid in his cub scout uniform. He had glasses, freckles and a broken arm in a cast. He walkes up and says, "excuse me sir, would you like to buy a coupon card to help my cub scout group?" I saw him coming and was able to prepare a quick no thank you followed by an immediate walk off. Otherwise he would have had me. I mean how do you say no to something like this. On top of that his dad was standing right there with him. I smiled as I declined his offer in an attempt to look like less of a jerk than I already did for turning down the chance to help an 8 year old and his scout troup.

I tell you what ... those boy scouts and girl scouts drive a hard bargain with their coupon books and cookies. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't so you have to figure that at least you'll have some delicious thin mints or a buy one get one free coupon to Arby's. I just wish I could take that 8 year old into my appointments tomorrow. I guarantee you that kid would walk out of at least one with a signed order for a top of the line copier.

So to all you sales professionals out there ... continue to work hard and work smart. But I promise you that you'll never be a match for the 8 year old boy scout standing outside of Kroger.

PAM/TIM

2006-03-20T18:38:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this past weekend I went to Paris, TX to be in the wedding of my friends Jaime and Stephanie. Wonderful wedding. Great reception. And at lunch the day of the wedding I had this piece of peanut butter pie that altered the course of my life as I currently know it. But things were not always this good. Oh no my friends. Before the beautiful wedding, the endless plates of fried chicken at the reception and the religious experience with the pie there was a little thing I'm calling the incident.

During the day of the wedding Jaime decided to have all the guys go down to a local barber shop on the square in Paris for a good old fashioned shave. Sounds like a good idea, right? So we go in and first of all imagine the reception 8 20 something guys from the city get when they stroll into the local barbershop in Paris. Exactly. Not so much of a warm welcome and lots of stares. So there is an old man at the first chair who seems to be the head barber and then at the back there was a younger and much stranger looking man. The strange man's chair was open so Jaime headed on back for his shave. I found the man to be a little abrupt and rude when Jaime sat down but just laughed (on the inside as not to attract anymore stares). The head barber finished with his customer and our next guy sat down in his chair. I was a little unsure as to whether or not I should get a shave myself and I got to thinking that since I had not shaved that morning I would have to shave in the afternoon without taking a shower and that is a fine formula for some serious razor burn. I figured the barber would be the best bet and what's $6 when to have a strange man touch your face right?

So I'm up and the weird man's chair is open. I hop up there, ask for a shave, close my eyes and let the action begin. Fast forward to 10 minutes later. I hope out of the chair. Pay my $6. Give him a $1 tip and then look into the mirror. What I saw next will haunt me until the day I die. It was like the guy took the razor and just slit my throat. There was a fair amount of blood. Razor burn over my entire next and on top of that I was turning yellow from the powder they use the help stop the bleeding. I cannot express to you the depth of my immediate depression. I sat back down on the bench and didn't say a word. Slowly the other guys began to notice my misfortune. My friend Adam had to leave the shop because he was laughing so hard. During my silence I started thinking about some things that had happened and tried to figure out what went wrong. One of the ministers for the wedding came in as Jaime was finishing up and naturally referred to the barber as a "he" but for some reason when I was in the chair there were people in the shop calling the barber "Pam" and everytime the barber moved around to the other side I thought to myself, "where those boobs that just hit me?". And let me tell you something else. When your entire neck is raw and the flesh is exposed, aftershave really really hurts. So bad that you may almost scream.

So later that night some of us were asking the bride's father about this person in the barber shop. Turns out that Pam usually goes by Tim as she apparently plays the male role in her lesbian relationship. It seems that Pam/Tim as she is now referred to as either doesn't know how to shave a man's face or was really not happy with our little party. I'm leaning towards the latter a guy who was a friend of hers came in after me and left with a perfectly shaven face. No blood, no razor burn. Just a satisfied customer. Talk about a serious case of buyer's remorse.

So Pam/Tim, wherever you are tonight, I'm giving notice that from now on I will be shaving my own face ... that is if the skin ever grows back ... and I will never again give you or anyone else money to cut my face open. Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson and know that I will never come near you or your barber shop chair again so long as I live.

KIRBY

2006-03-07T19:08:00.000-08:00

On Monday afternoon Kirby Puckett passed away at the age of 45. For those of you who do not know, he wore #34 for the Minnesota Twins when I was a kid. He helped lead them to two World Series championships and was one of the great players and great men of his generation. Our fathers celebrated guys like Mickey Mantle and Ted Williams because these were the guys who embodied all that baseball was when they were kids. They collected their baseball cards, watched them play on t.v. and wanted to be like them when they grew up. For all that men like Mantle and Williams meant to our fathers' generation in life, they mean even more now that they are gone. I grew up with players like Cal Ripken Jr. and Kirby Puckett. Puckett, who was always a little pudgy and obviously not the best pure athlete on his team, was always known for his drive, determination, kind heart and ability to lead his baseball team. He always smiled and I always knew he enjoyed every minute he spent on the baseball field. He played for the purity of the game and for the fans. He grew up on the south side of Chicago ... in Whitesox country. He was a Whitesox fan and would have loved to have played for his hometown team. However, after playing at a small local college, he was drafted by the Minnesota Twins. This was a team he came to love and he cherished the fans that loved him with as much affection as he showed for the game of baseball. Countless times in his career he was offered contracts to play for a large market team like the Yankees and even his hometown Whitesox. But Puckett loved the fans he played for in Minnesota and finished his great career with the team he began it with.

Kirby Puckett does not have the numbers that guys like Mantle and Williams had, but as time passes I think those of my generation will look on him with the same nostalgia and affection that those before us see in other great players who have played this great game. So here's to everything that is great and pure about baseball and here's to Kirby. We'll miss you.

OOPS!

2006-02-22T10:40:00.000-08:00

I have a house. In that house I have laminate flooring (aka fake wood). When wearing socks one can generally slide very far on said flooring. Being the child that I am if I'm ever going somewhere inside the house I get a running start and then see how far I can slide. So the other night as I started my slide across the foyer things didn't seem quite right. I thought, "hmmm, I seem to be off balance a little." Next thing you know I'm falling sideways into the wall, hit the wall, and then fall to the floor landing on my butt and back. I have to tell you ... I haven't eaten it like that in some time. My back was all scratched up from the wall and it didn't help to falling on the hard floor. It did not feel good. I guess that's the price you pay for being the type of daredevil that I am. Anyways, thought that might make you laugh and if you hadn't realized it already you will now understand the depth of my immaturity.

My Top 5 Winter Olympic Competitions

2006-02-21T14:07:00.000-08:00

I have to tell you, for my money I'll take the winter games over those of the summer anyday of the week. It's obvious the summer games are more like what the original olympics were like so I dig the fact that the winter olympics people just made up a bunch of crazy stuff to compete in over the years and now we have the winter olympics. I mean, is the guy in this picture really skiing with a rifle strapped to his back? How awesome is that? So now I give you my top 5 favorite winter olympics competitions in no particular order.

1) Biathlon - it goes something like this. You get on cross country skis. Ski out to a place where you take target practice. And then ski back. Somehow they figure a winner out of that. I mean, who in the world came up with the idea of putting cross country skiing and gun play together? If I could I would shake his hand, because this competition is cool. Really, really cool.

2) Skeleton - As I stated in a previous post I have some mad props for the competitors in the one man luge. I question the morality of the two man but am a fan of the one man. However I have now learned there is a sport just like the luge only the maniacs go down headfirst at speeds approaching 80 mph. That is awesome! It takes me back to the one time it iced over while I was at A&M and everyone took lunch trays from the cafeteria and rode them down the ramps of the parking garage. It's essentially the same thing only faster. Much faster. You know if those guys wreck they'll probably die. I can respect that. I wouldn't do it. But I respect it.

3) Snowboard Cross - I'm so glad this stuff made it into the olympics. People have made comments about the Americans wanting it in the olympics because we invented the sport and are in turn very good at it. Doesn't every olympic sport come from something people were just doing for the fun of it and then decided to make it into a competition? Well now we have snowboard cross and I love it. Did you see that girl from the USA do a board grab and fall on one of the last jumps in her race. She was assured gold until she ate it while showing off. Now that's cool. And of course while all the other athletes are training, focusing or psyching themselves out for their compeititions, the snowboarders are out at the local bar all night partying. It's like there is an understanding that if one person parties ... they all party. That way the competition is fair.

4) Freestyle skiing (moguls and big flipping competition) - this takes some big ones my friend. Especially the one where they just jump 50 feet in the air, do flips and twists and then land on hard snow at only a 37 degree angle. No thanks. How do you start doing that crap? I mean, there has to be a first time where you just go for it. And there has to be a time where you land on your head because you screwed up on something. So why aren't more of these people dead?
5) Snowboard halfpipe - Shaun White, what's up? That kid is unreal. He's 19, has three huge houses in the states, and was totally clutch in this competition after botching a landing in his first run. These guys and girls catch so much air it's not even funny. If there was one olympic competition I could compete in it would be this one. I think they definitely get the most chicks. Except for maybe that Italian cross country team. Apparently they're really popular and they won so they're getting a lot of Italian lovin'. As for me though, I'd stay on the snowboarding hill because that's where the action is.

So there you have it. My top 5. If it changes I'll let you know. Any other winter olympics competitions you guys are digging? Any figure skating fans? I hope not.

Uncle Sam Wants You ...

2006-02-21T13:35:00.000-08:00

... to shop at Brookshires! I've seen several instances in the past few weeks here in McKinney of companies using what seems to be homeless people dressed up as either Uncle Sam or The Statue of Liberty standing out by the street trying to lure would be customers into the parking lot and of course into their store. I always see this dirty old man dressed as Uncle Sam outside of Brookshires. I'm pretty sure he does not work for Brookshires and hell, for all I know he may not work for anyone around there. He may just get his kicks by dressing up in costume and glaring at people driving by. He never carries a sign so if he does work for a local business I and others driving by would have no idea what he's advertising for. I find this entire scene to be very humorous. Sometimes there is an African-American (you like my political correctness) male teenager that dresses up as The Statue of Liberty for what seems to be the same purpose. Which brings us back to the fact that I have no idea what that purpose is. Across town their is another establishment that uses a dirty old Uncle Sam as well. He just gives people a mean stare as they drive by. Probably not good for business. I don't know who's idea it was to advertise this way but I love it. It makes me laugh everytime I pass by.

Speaking of human directional advertising ... anyone watching that reality show on MTV about the guy from O-Town who's trying to make it as a solo artist? Lastnight he went to a temp agency to get some work until his record came out and they suggested that the only thing he was qualified for was "human directional advertising" which is basically standing outside a building with an A-frame sign hanging on your shoulders. I don't know what it is about ridiculous reality shows that sucks me in but I've started watching this guy's show. Next week he supposedly goes to an open mic night at a club to try out some new songs and he plays a wrong chord on the piano. I can't wait. And while we're on the subject of MTV reality ... how about the good ole Gauntlet. So sad to see Kara go lastweek. It's too bad all those other bitches (excuse me) had to gang up on her and Suzie. I'm a fan of both of those girls. And how crazy is Alton with climbing that cargo net lastnight in the gauntlet? That's insane. Poor Jeremy never stood a chance.

I just remembered something else I totally don't understand. NASCAR. Why do people watch that crap? I could go sit by the interstate for 5 hours with a cooler of beer for free and see the exact same thing. Apparently some guy named Jimmie Johnson (not the second greatest football coach in Dallas Cowboy history) won Daytona last weekend. Who cares. I'll take some Olympic Snowboard Cross anyday of the week over that stuff.

Some things I just don't get

2006-02-12T17:49:00.000-08:00

What's the deal ... with figure skating? I don't understand why so many people think this is cool and I am more baffled by how it is a popular olympic competition. I think figure skating was originally a competition to see who could skate the best figure 8 in the ice. I may be wrong, but that sounds right. I can understand this as an all-be-it weird, but legitimate competition. But somehow over the years it has turned into people just dancing around on the ice in flashy outfits. Don't even get me started on the guys who participate in this. What a disgrace to their gender. I acknowledge the fact that you have to be in great shape and very skilled at what you do to be a figure skater ... but do we have to act like it's a legitimate competition? Come on people. There are only two reasons I would ever watch figure skating. 1) Michelle Kwan 2) the falls. So I give you a perfect figure skating world in this image.

Another thing in the olympics I have a heard time putting my mind around is the two man luge. I think the regular luge is awesome. There's something really cool about a guy going balls first down an icy track on a small piece of metal at 85 mph. That makes me excited and that I will watch. But take all the above mentioned attributes and add another man with his balls resting just below the first mans head and you can count me out. No thanks. I just don't get it.

Since You Been Gone

2006-02-09T13:58:00.000-08:00

I don't get awards shows. I just don't. For some reason E! starts having their red carpet (or in the case of the Grammy's the green carpet) show 3 days in advance. I'm glad they don't have that Joan Rivers anymore but now they have Ryan Seacrest. You see I always thought if you were the person interviewing celebrities and asking about their outfits it was because you were washed up as a celebrity and were just looking for a ticket in the gate. Isn't Ryan Seacrest supposed to be popular? This could be social suicide.

So after the red carpet fiasco you have an award show that lasts for 3 to 4 hours and bores the hell out of everyone watching. Who freakin' cares what the academy thinks is the best soundtrack to a Norwegian documentary. Just flash it across the bottom of the screen. I'm thinking there should be about 6 awards max that are given out.

I caught part of the pre game show with Seacrest yesterday and it was funny to see different people he interviewed. He was talking to Fall Out Boy who was up for new artist of the year. You could tell they felt really out of place ... and they're good musicians who supposedly make good music. How is that possible they could feel out of place at an awards show that is supposed to be for people like them? And then he interviewed Jennifer Love Hewitt who should be ashamed to be seen at a music awards show. But she was totally comfortable hanging out with all the famous people.

I didn't watch the grammy's lastnight. I watch a little show called LOST. Maybe you've heard of it. I did get a phone update from my friend Julie to tell me that Kelly Clarkson had already won one award and it turns out she took home two by the end of the night. I'd like to state for the record that I don't own any of her records and would most likely never go see her in concert. I would however go on a date with her and I think it's cool that she won. So congratulations to Kelly Clarkson and the entire American Idol institution. If making millions and millions of dollars in reality television wasn't enough validation, now you have a winner with a grammy. How about that?

Roger Lodge And His Influence On Society

2006-02-07T14:15:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm not a huge fan of going on blind dates, but if the person trying to set me up is a friend that I consider cool enough for the job or just berates me with it until I give in, I'll usually give it a try. So below are some bulleted thoughts of mine on blind dating. Enjoy.

- it's so easy for a person to say "here's her phone number. Give her a call." And it doesn't even sound like a big deal to me until I get ready to dial. Then I freak out for some reason. What will I say? Will she know who I am or think I'm some random person calling? What if when I ask questions she gives one word answers not allowing me enough time to formulate a follow up question? And the list of panic questions goes on and on.

- for some reason when I'm on a blind date I feel like there should be cameras in our faces at all times and that the night will be edited for broadcast at a later date ... and will of course have corny captions everytime I do something suspect.

- I don't understand how the blind date couples on t.v. can go from meeting to naked in the hot tub in a matter of hours. It sounds good in theory but I would have no idea as to how to go about making that happen.

- is it okay to talk with your date about "blind dates" and the fact you are on one? Or joke about how akward they can be in an effort to break the ice? I feel like this could be a good move but haven't used it yet.

- I have never met someone and asked them out all in the same day. The people I've dated in the past have all been girls I had known for a while and developed some sort of friendship with. I think that's just the sort of person I am and as far as blind dates go I think that sort of stacks the odds against me before I even walk out the door.

- my profession is sales ... but I don't like to come across as a "salesman". My approach professionally is to build relationships with potential customers and put them in a position to understand on their own the benefits of what I have to offer. I think dating should be the same way which again puts me at a disadvantage because although I know I'm pretty cool, it may take a girl a few dates to realize that.

- if you think the date is the hard part, then you're wrong. The hardest part is the next day trying to figure out what in the world the other person is thinking. Having mutual friends can always expedite that process.

- this all boils down to figuring out if you'll go out again. There are three questions that both parties must answer to figure this out. It would be great if there was a questionaire to fill out at the end that you would then feed into a machine that would in turn tell you if you should go out again. But I don't think that exists so you have to figure these things out on your own. Questions are: 1) did I have a good time tonight 2) do I like this person 3) was there a connection between us ...... success in 1 and 2 is nice but if you don't have an affirmation for question number 3 then you're dead in the water. Personally I think this can sometimes take a while to figure out, but in the world of blind dating you've got one shot. So make it a good one.

- at the end of the day hopefully at the worst you had a great meal with a pretty girl. Every now and then there's something to be said for that I guess.

XL

2006-02-06T16:19:00.000-08:00

So the Steelers won the Super Bowl. I'm so sarcasticly excited. I wanted to see the Seahawks hoist the Lombardi Trophy mainly because they've never been there. I like rooting for the underdog. Not a big fan of the Steelers, but I like that Bettis guy. He seems like he'd be cool to hang out with.

Great times were had around here for the game. I had friends that range from as far back as my childhood to friends I just made a few months ago. It was cool to have them all together and us all have a really great time. I'm all about an excuse to fire up the grill and throw on some meat. To those of you that came over and had the chicken, I apologize if it was a little tough. I have a crazy fear of giving salmonella poisoning to those I cook for so the chicken may have stayed on the grill just a little longer than it should have.

I think my favorite commercial was for Careerbuilder.com. It was the one where the monkeys were in the office partying because they thought sales were up. I loved the monkey that was smoking the cigar and burning money. The only guy in the room then turns the sales chart rightside up to reveal that sales were actually down. The monkeys stop. Then a monkey turns the chart to show sales growth and the party continues. I love it. By the way, do any of the beer companies even try anymore? They shouldn't. Anheiser kicks all of their butts.

I didn't get to see the halftime show? I heard it was pretty good and that everyone is surprised that the Stones are still alive.

I hope the rest of you enjoyed your Super Bowl sunday as much as we did here at the world headquarters. Until next time ...

#1 Single

2006-02-03T09:09:00.000-08:00

Everyone, this is Lisa Loeb. Lisa Loeb, this is everyone.

I've decided that we should be married. I like girls with glasses. I like girls that like music. And I like girls that are hot. So the way I see it, we're a perfect match.

I saw this show she's doing called #1 Single. She basically goes out on blind dates with guys looking for a boyfriend. So, ummm, anyone know how I could get on this show. I'm pretty sure I would win. Let me know.

2005: The Year In Review

2006-01-31T17:22:00.000-08:00

That's right people, this is probably a month overdue but none-the-less here it is. 2005 was probably one of the most volatile years of my life thus far. I began the year unemployed and it took a little while for things to get better. I got a W2 (or is it W4) in the mail the other day and I had no idea who it was from. It reminded me of the crazy part time and contract work I did over the first part of last year. I worked very hard trying to secure job with Bluebunny Ice Cream but in the end was unsuccessful in my attempt. This was hard to stomach, not so much from a financial standpoint but from one of pride. It hurt to lose and that was something I hadn't felt in a while. I worked on a contract basis for Dreyer's ice cream for a few weeks doing freezer resets in Albertson's and then as a merchandiser for Coca Cola. Both of these jobs started at 6:00 in the morning which is another thing I was not used to.

So then in April the big break came. I accepted a job with Lorillard Tobacco Company, makers of Newport cigarettes. I thought this would be cool because there would be an air of controversy and disapproval about it and for some reason I liked the idea of that. I think looking back it was probably just my way of masking a feeling of total relief for having a job. That feeling wore off fast. I spent two weeks for training in an office in Atlanta where it is okay to smoke indoors. The smell in one's clothes (and hair if one had any) would almost kill you. But it was a job and I worked on.

The summer was long and hot, but after work each day the shirt and tie came off and everything was great. Weekends were spent on a wakeboard behind a boat on Lake Ray Roberts. Nothing like a long day on the water followed by barbeque and cold beer on the way home. It was a great summer.

I dated a girl for a while. That was something I hadn't done in a while. She was really pretty but wasn't the one so we went our separate ways. It was nice to spend time with someone though. I had forgotten that.

In July I bought a house of my own. It is quite possibly the scariest thing I've done and I still shudder when I write the check for the mortgage each month. In the end though I'm happy to be living here. Although it is sometimes lonely, I enjoy living by myself. I have a little patch of dirt and shelter that is all mine (or at least it will be in 29 and a half years) and I'm proud of that.

In November I took a job with IKON Office Solutions and have worked there since. It is challenging, motivating, hard, requires long hours, but all in all good. I don't know if this is the job I'll do for the long haul, but I'm okay with that. I actually don't know if there will ever be a "long haul" job. That idea scares me.

I hit the fat part of the bell curve of 2005 for you. There were some days that were unbelievably joyous and momentous and others that felt like the darkest night my soul has ever seen. I'd like to keep both of those for myself.

In late 2004 I decided to quit my job, pack up everything I owned and move back to the Dallas area for a number of reasons. 1) get a better/more career focused job 2) be closer to family, especially the niece and nephews who sometimes were unsure of me when I came home to visit 3) and finally to get the hell out of Houston. The night before I left Houston I had dinner with two of my closest friends. They kept asking me for 3 good reasons why I was leaving. I didn't give them an answer because all of a sudden I realized I couldn't put my finger on it. I know I just listed 3 reasons but when you say them out loud to your best friends that you're about to leave, it doesn't seem like near enough. The truth is I just knew it was time to move on. I thought I could leave Houston without any reservation or tears and then as we ate and talked I realized thatI was about to leave two of the best friends I'd ever had. I sometimes second guess my decision when I see pictures of them with their beautiful daughter that I have yet to meet. Or remember the dinners and conversations at Mango's or Chuy's. But in the end I know I made the right decision. I'm not always sure I know why, but I just know.

So after almost a year and a half of turbulence and an effort to settle down a bit I hoping for a more stable 2006. I'm hoping I'm a year wiser. I know I'm a year older. We'll just wait and see from here.

Just The Way You Like It

2006-01-25T13:44:00.000-08:00

I love Whataburger. If I had to eat the same thing at every meal for the rest of my life and the deluxe chicken enchiladas at Chuy's where not available then I would have a #1 w/mustard only and an iced tea to drink for $4.54. I practically live my life this way anyways so it wouldn't be too big of an adjustment. Over the years I've had only two beefs to pick with my beloved fast food hamburger maker. 1) They take way too long to get the burgers out. I realize they make it "just the way you like it" and that takes longer, but I still think the process could be expedited a little. That doesn't bother me too much though. 2) The cups get way too much condensation. I'll be drinking my cup of tea in the car and whenever I move the cup to my mouth water will inevitably fall from the cup and land somewhere near the crotch area of my pants making it look like I've peed myself. I just never understood why they couldn't make cups that don't do this. I don't have this problem with other fast food cups. Why couldn't Whataburger catch on. Well friends, at the expense of our precious environment, the forces that be at Whataburger have heeded this call to attend to the cup condensation problem. Today as I filled my cup with tea I noticed a different texture. I thought my senses were playing tricks on me but after further inspection I realized I was holding a stirofoam cup in my hands. Sure it will take somewhere in the ballpark of a million years for this giant cup to break down into dirt or a poof of smoke or whatever stirofoam will finally break down into (how will we know since no one has ever seen it). But not once today did it look like I went to the bathroom in my pants. Hallelujah to the gods who govern Whataburger. Followers everywhere should make the pilgrimage to Corpus Christi to pay homage. I will do my part to destroy the environment about 3 times a week in perfectly dry pants.

The Man In Black

2006-01-20T14:04:00.000-08:00

Back in the 1950's there was a man named Johnny Cash who along with guys like Elvis Presley and Jerry Lee Lewis changed the face of modern music. I don't think that anyone single handedly invented rock 'n roll but if anyone was close it was this group of guys. They joined forces at Sun Records and began touring the country taking their rebellious style and sound along with them. As the years passed they all took their own paths and developed their own unique style. Being from Arkansas originally, Johnny followed his roots and took the rockabilly based stylings these musicians had and made it distinctly country and more importantly distinctly his. For those who have listened to any music Johnny made during his career you know that you don't even have to hear words before you know it's him. It's difficult to put into words the effect this man had on music and more importantly on humanity. I recently purchased the newly released "The Legend of Johnny Cash". This is basically a compilation of music from all parts of Johnny's career. The thing I like most about this record is it goes in chronological order and as you listen to each song they seem to come alive and allow you to see him in whatever stage of life he may have been when the song was originally released. I love hearing songs that made him famous originally at Sun Records to the songs he performed or wrote with June Carter Cash later on to the songs from the 80's with the Highwaymen to the songs he recorded with Rick Rubin for the series of American Records albums he put out in the twilight of his career. You can hear the changes from decade to decade and almost feel the pain or the love, the darkness or light and all other emotional aspects of his life over the course time but the distinct sound of Johnny Cash permeates everything he did. You know what it is. It's the simple and rhythmic do-chica-do-chica sound from his days with the Tennessee Two. You can even hear it in the American Recordings songs when he simply plays the guitar and sings alone.

You know most great musicians have a period of fame and hit records and then although they continue to play and create they seem to slip into the background of the music industry and are just known and appreciated for their previously recorded body of work. The last single Johnny released before his death was his version of the Nine Inch Nails song called "Hurt". The video for that song was the most amazing music video I've seen in my life. It allowed you to look at his entire life, the ups and downs, good and bad and then have Johnny looking into the camera with his haunting stare and in the most beautiful way possible tell the world it meant nothing. Johnny Cash was a man who knew and walked with the Lord. I love him for everything he did in his life and the influence he has had on me musically but for this I consider him a hero and a role model.

I don't know that there will ever be another person like Johnny Cash. Personally I don't think there can be. When he died I read an article in the Austin American Statesman about him. The writer talked about a time Johnny came to Dallas for a show. So he got in his car and drove north to cover the show. He found out what hotel Johnny was staying at the then camped out in the lobby. After waiting several hours he noticed a commotion coming down the stairs and then all of a sudden there he was. Johnny Cash was bigger than life and he was experiencing it to the fullest. He gathered enough strength to walk up, shake hands and say hello, but that was all he could muster. He said after the fact, he was so overwhelmed with the situation that he didn't even notice that June Carter Cash, a bonified country star in her own right was walking right next to her husband.

Johnny Cash was an amazing man who lived an amazing life. I think this record celebrates that life to the fullest and whether you like country music or not you should experience what this man created. For 50 years he helped shape almost all aspects of modern music and he is to be celebrated.

The Man In Black - Johnny Cash

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.

I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.

I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.

And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen' that we all were on their side.

Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin' everywhere you go,
But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You'll never see me wear a suit of white.

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything's OK,
But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.

Song

2006-01-15T19:06:00.000-08:00

Check this out. It will probably make you laugh and make your spine tingle at the same time.

http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=23

Postgame Comments

2006-01-05T21:08:00.000-08:00

10 thoughts about what transpired lastnight. I'm not going soft here. Just calling it as I see it ...

1) I thought the Penn State/Florida State game the night before was one of the best bowl games I'd seen in a long time. Not anymore.

2) I still hate Mack Brown. I just do. There's no way I can get over it. He just grinds on my nerves everytime he talks.

3) I didn't really root for Texas during the game (you should derive this from the previous post) but after they game and after they way they won I thought to myself ... "that's not my school that just won but I am really happy for those guys. They earned it and they did it with style. I was proud to be from the state of Texas.

4) I can't believe people aren't saying more about the phantom touchdown Texas had. I know most would say they would have scored anyways ... but you never know. Regardless though I think they would have found a way to win. It was like a season of destiny for those guys.

5) Best sign from the game (this in from Jason Petty) "Trojans stop STD's, not Vince TD's"

6) How arrogant is USC? That's totally why they lost. Reggie Bush threw that lateral because he figured even if he fumbled they would still probably hang 70 on Texas and win it going away. Bet he wishes he had that one back.

7) You see the interview with Leinart after the game? Used to like that guy. Still like him, but not as much. He was very ungracious (is that the word) and said he still felt they were the better team. One word Matt .... "Scoreboard!". Personally I think they are the best team on paper, but last I checked they don't play football on paper. Texas had the things you can't qualify on a stat sheet.

8) Vince Young ... please enter the NFL draft. You're killing me and my team.

9) I missed the halftime show. Was it better than Ashley Simpson lastyear? Had to have been.

10) Feel good moment for Texas players ... standing in front of thousands of students and fans throwing the hook 'em in the air singing "til Gabriel blows his horn!" What a way to cap off 4 hours of some of the most intense football this planet has ever seen. So my hat is off and congratulations go out to the Longhorns and the Longhorn faithful ... not the people who went out and bought a UT flag last week to put up on the front of their house. No love for you guys, but to the rest ... what a year! We'll see you the day after Thanksgiving.

Stole this from a girl named Kelly (I think). She probably stole it from someone else.

My Halftime Thoughts

2006-01-04T19:11:00.000-08:00

1) That first Texas touchdown was total bull crap. Instant replay has been so great in college football all year but for some reason they didn't even review this play. I partially blame Pete Carroll for not calling time out.

2) Reggie Bush is an idiot. Can anyone say "hubris"? That's the cockiest little bastard I've seen all day long. What was with that lateral? You're the best freakin' player on the field by far. Don't do something stupid like that.

3) Mack Brown is a total douche bag. I can't stand to hear that guy give interviews. It's so obvious he's talking out of his butt. I would hate to have a conversation with him. Luckily for me, he's a successful college football coach and I'm a lowly little salesman so chances are our pathes will not be crossing anytime soon.

4) Finally ... and I don't mean to keep complaining ... but how awful are Keith Jackson and Dan Fouts. Jackson is of course this larger than life announcer that has been around forever but he should really stick with the Gatorade commercials. They totally should have had Tirico and Herbstreit call this game as they did a great job lastnight in Miami. It's almost like Keith Jackson is drunk. After Texas missed an extra point he just said "it's good". I think Fouts has so much respect for him that he didn't even take the time to realize the kick in fact was not good. It was like 5 seconds before he corrected him.

--For all you non sports fans out there I apologize for the content of this post. But I kind of like sports so you'll hear about it from time to time.

oh yeah ...

6) I wasn't for sure who I would root for, if anyone, in this game. I really don't like USC at all but being an Aggie I don't like Texas either. I thought I might end up liking Texas in this game because their from my home state and represent the Big 12, but it turns out I still don't like them. In games like this I always have to wait until the game starts and then see who my first big outburst is in favor of. When Texas fumbled that punt and USC recovered I went crazy ... so it's confirmed. I don't like Texas.

New Year's Goals

2006-01-03T08:18:00.000-08:00

Below are several goals I've set for myself to be accomplished during the coming year. People always make resolutions and never hold to them so that's why I changed mine to goals. Resolutions are too broad, sometimes unattainable and people never really develop plans to accomplish them. As one who conducts business for a living I feel the "goal" can be a much better tool. They range from professional to personal. These goals are attainable (don't laugh), measureable, and have a timeline. They are as follows (and although you may laugh I'm totally serious ... well, mostly):

1) Professional - be at 100% of plan at work. That means I sell what I'm expected to sell, meet quota, etc.

2) Personal - get a girlfriend. I'm thinking minimum of 3 months. Anything shorter than that is just the time it takes to figure out if you really like the person. I think a girl could bring some much needed balance around here. And besides, girls are pretty ... at least the ones I like.

3) Personal - attain beginner level status on the piano. This is not too lofty a goal but could be harder than it looks because I don't actually have a piano. I've been wanting to learn for the past few years but haven't had the time or resources.

4) Personal/Professional - write enough songs to complete a record. Not saying I will make one. I would just like to have enough bullets in the gun if I wanted to. I'm thinking 10 - 12. That means somewhere in the neighborhood of 1 a month.

Okay, that's all for now. I may add. Hopefully not take away. Check on me periodically to make sure I'm sticking to it.

Veggie Tales And It's Apparent Hold On My Psyche

2006-01-03T08:06:00.000-08:00

So a few months ago I bought part of a house to fix up and rent/sell. That means, as some of you know, that my weekends are very full and I spend most of my free time at this house working. I was off work yesterday for New Year's so as usual I made my way to the house, grabbed a paintbrush and went to work. Then it happened ...

I had been painting and found a few loose boards around the edge of the house. So I got off the ladder and went inside to get my hammer. Someone had apparently took it from my tool belt to use on another project so a search ensued. As I searched I instinctively began to whistle the following song. Although only the tune came out audibly the words I used were clear as day in my head. It went like this: Oh where is my hammer? Oh where is my hammer? Oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where ...... is my hammer?

The first and only time I've ever watched Veggie Tales was sometime in high school. That was over 10 years ago but somehow that whiny little tomato has some sort of hold over my mind. How can a tomato create such a catchy tune while looking for his hairbrush? I just don't get it. And Christian parents always want better television programming for their children because they feel the stuff out there is infiltrating the minds of their kids. Well I'm here to tell you parents ... Veggie Tales is slowly but surely taking over the world from the inside out. Apparently I've been in its grasp for years and never new it. I'd try to escape but at this point it seems hopeless. I'm broken. And by a talking tomato. God rest my soul.

Breakfast

2005-12-30T20:52:00.000-08:00

Krispy Kreme ............. mmmmmmm!

Time To Celebrate

2005-12-28T20:27:00.000-08:00

Lastnight was a great night. I made a purchase I've been wanting to make for quite some time now. I asked for this item for Christmas only to find that my request had fallen on Santa's deaf ears. So I hopped out of the car at Best Buy, gift certificates in hand and went in to buy the first season of LOST. I missed the majority of the first season and have been dying to get caught up. I of course know the gist of what happened but there are some many nuances and twists that you could never imagine. I'm so excited to hopefully have some time soon to just sit in front of the t.v. and zone out to episode after episode. Of course I can't watch too many at once because there will be too much to analyze and ponder. If you don't watch this show I urge you to get in on the excitement. It really is one of if not the best written show that has been on t.v. in a long time. It is artfully crafted and its depth seems to know no bounds. I won't disclose to you all the nerdy things I am involved in when it comes to this show but it definitely takes a little of my time ... and I love it.

On another note, if you remember I posted back in June about how it was my half birthday. That was 6 months ago from tomorrow (thursday). Just fyi. What is 28 all about? Is that still a cool age? Is there a certain age when I supposed to start wearing penny loafers with jeans and talking about the most boring things known to mankind? I hope 28 is not that age. And if it is I will fight the system by wearing Chuck Taylors and talking about rock 'n roll all night.

I got an iPod nano for Christmas. This thing is unreal. It's so easy to lose. I've been wanting to get in on the iPod revolution for some time now and am now part of the movement. It's cool. You should do it if you haven't already.

Personal PC

2005-12-23T21:32:00.000-08:00

I was thinking that I could really use one of those personal PC things. I'm not sure if a Blackberry will do the trick. Can you access websites on one of those ... or just email? The thing is I think of some really great stuff to write about when I'm in the car or out and about somewhere but by the time I get to a computer I get sidetracked and lose track of what I had on my mind earlier. So I think a personal PC could really be of benefit to you the reader. FYI ... Christmas is day after tomorrow.

Speaking of Christmas, my team at work was responsible for collecting coats, gloves, hats, etc. to be donated to a homeless shelter in Dallas. On Wednesday we had a sales meeting in the morning and then gathered all the clothing and went to the shelter to drop it off. We went to a place called the Day Resource Center in downtown Dallas. Until you see it, it's hard to believe how these people live. This shelter is for what they call "chronicly homeless" which means that most of the people there have some sort of mental illness that keeps them from operating in a way to better their lives and get themselves in proper housing or they are just so far gone that there is almost no possible way of recovery. Most of these people have been kicked out of privately funded shelters or shelters run by religious organizations. The reasons for this range from violence, to cursing, to dealing and/or using drugs. So the shelter we were at had the worst of the worst. It's hard enough to know and see some of the conditions they live in, but heartbreaking to know they will most likely never change or veer from the paths they are on. I applaud those who commit time or even make it their livelihood to help these people. I don't think there is a job there I could do without absolutely losing it. The manager of the shelter was a wonderful man that has a real deep affection and a soft spot in his heart for these people. He was homeless at a point in his life and was eventually rehabilitated in this shelter and now has the opportunity to offer help to others who desperately need it but generally refuse it. I spend most of my days around people that for the most part are very much like myself. We come from similar backgrounds, line up fairly well socio-economically speaking, and are able to generally understand what the other person goes through day to day. In this situation though I felt as if I was in a foreign country. It's hard to imagine what life is like for these people and impossible to truly understand. On the one hand is was a nice feeling to give of ourselves and help these people but as we left it was hard not to think that in the grand scheme of things we were really doing nothing. There were needs we could never meet and it makes you feel helpless knowing that's the case. At the least I hope I will always remember what it felt like walking into that place and always know that I am blessed beyond what I can see or know.

So a Merry Christmas to whomever may be reading tonight. I hope to see and/or talk to some of you very soon. Until then ...

A coming of age

2005-12-08T12:42:00.000-08:00

I meant to mention this about a month ago but forgot. I've hit a milestone in my life. I've attained a level of manhood that I can never return from. I now have to shave everyday. For a long time I got away with every other day but apparently the right hormones are finally kicking in and it's an everyday affair for me. I hate the shaving but can appreciate what it represents.

I turned on the television this morning to see footage of sliding cars and 18 wheelers blowing up on the roads so I decided I would go into work late. A few hours later when the roads had cleared I got to the office, only to find there were a grand total of zero people there. Being the highly motivated worker I am, I decided to go home and enjoy the rest of the day. I hope they weren't playing a trick on me.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

2005-12-07T11:53:00.000-08:00

So it's snowing outside right now. And by snow I of course mean a weird mix of freezing rain, sleet and snow. Not the stuff that floats down from the sky to softly blanket the countryside. This is the stuff that comes flying down like minute ballistic missles blasting everything in sight. You do not want to get hit in the face with this stuff if the wind is blowing. You will for sure be in pain.

Everyone really freaks out about bad weather here. I love it. I guess it's justified because the combo of ice and people's inexperience driving on it can really cause problems. Some people on the radio where talking about how the news stations are already set up along the highways at places where people traditionally wipe out on ice. They were laughing because the news people make no effort to warn drivers they are approaching a hazardous area. They just keep quiet and keep the cameras rolling. I love it.

That's enough for now. I'm just trying to avoid work.

Why Girls Don't Like Me

2005-12-05T20:36:00.000-08:00

So the other night I was having dinner with some members of my family and in the conversation someone mentioned something they couldn't do. They said something to the effect of "I'll try but I don't think I can do that". So my uncle trying to be inspirational and encouraging asks, "hey, who was it that said 'there is no try, only do'?" He knew someone important had made that statement at some point in history but couldn't remember exactly where it came from. I instantly knew where I had heard the quote but gave it a few seconds to see if anyone else could answer. After a moment of silence I piped in with, "umm, I'm pretty sure it was Master Yoda that said that." After another moment of silence the room erupted in laughter. I try not to be that guy ... but it just comes out. Why do I know that crap?

On an unrelated note, I put on a flannel shirt tonight and realized it is the same shirt I wore in my senior pictures in high school. Should I buy new clothes?

Ramblings

2005-12-01T21:15:00.000-08:00

I finally got lights up on my house. It's been a real hassle. After all the lights went up on the roof I found out the outside outlets do not work. So I have several cords running underneath various doors to the outside of the house. One day when I was putting the lights up it was really cold outside so I put on my jacket, hat and gloves. It takes a few minutes to get that bundled up so I was irritated to realize I had to go to the bathroom when I finished bundling. Oddly it's not that hard to go with gloves on. And think ... you don't have to wash your hands. Is that weird? Too much information?

The other day I was thinking that if my name was Scott I would totally get people to call me Scooter. Everyone I know named Scott thinks thats a dumb thing for them to be called but I think it's great. Usually you shorten a name. But with this one you just add some stuff to different parts. You don't see that too often. Speaking of shortening a name ... I'd love to have a child named Bob. I would of course call him Bo for short. I went too far with that one didn't I? That was just obsurd.

I met a girl tonight named Jessica. Later on I found out her name was Michelle.

I'm playing a show this weekend if anyone wants to watch. Van Alstyne, TX "Friends of the Library" breakfast. I think there's an opening act. We go on at 11 ... a.m. It's definitely on a different ridiculous scale than some of my former shows. The music should be good though. I'm not banking on a full tip jar though.

Where did they come up with the term "White Elephant" when referring to a gift exchange? I don't get it.

I saw "Blazing Saddles" tonight. I highly recommend it ... unless you're easily offended. It was very funny and inappropriate. My kind of movie.

Did Nick and Jessica really break up?

Who saw LOST lastnight? It was awesome. I've made some new friends this week who thoroughly enjoy discussing the show. They make me feel like it's not so bad being a giant nerd.
One more day of work this week friends. Cheer up.

TV

2005-11-21T19:31:00.000-08:00

You know, most people seem to always say they should watch less television and try to be more productive. Maybe get a hobby, or start working out. Go to the park, or just out for a walk. I'm here to tell you my friends that that way of thinking is for the birds and should go the way of the good ole buffalo. I've learned to embrace my addiction to television and enjoy the precious moments I have to sprawl out on the couch and be entertained.

As most of you know I'm sort of an MTV junkie. I'm not a big fan of MTV dating shows but Ryan Cabrera has been hosting this new show were two guys write songs for a girl and then she picks the best song. The winner goes on a date with her to a resort in Mexico. So this is essentially a blind date because she can't see or interact with either guy until after she makes her decision. I've been on a few blind dates in my life and taking the risk of a dinner with someone is one thing, but spending an entire week in Mexico is a whole other story. Do they get separate rooms? If not, how akward is it if they don't hit it off? Or how akward is it if they hit it off so much they don't want to spoil it by doing it too early in the relationship? Oh, who am I kidding. This is MTV.

This past week was the season finale of Laguna Beach. This show was really boring at the begining of the season but really picked up by the end. I think it had to do with a larger part for LC in the more recent episodes. Is it weird that I had a very indepth conversation about this show with my 16 year old cousin Leigh Ann and one of her friends the other day? Some call it weird. I call it keeping it real.

What did everyone think of The Real World Austin? I was so excited about the show finally coming to Texas but I'll have to say I have been sorely dissappointed. In fact, I thought this season flat out sucked. Most all Real World cast members regardless of season are for the most part worthless but these kids took it to a new level. They had one of the coolest jobs ever ... to make a documentary about South By Southwest ... and half the time they wouldn't show up to work because it was cutting into their nonstop partying schedule. What is wrong with these people? They were in what I consider to be one of the coolest cities in America and all they did was hang out at the freakin' Dizzy Rooster and get plastered. I was also dissapointed that their job (although really cool) for the most part didn't give anything back to the community. I commend the creators of the Philadelphia season for their efforts to portray young people getting involved in their community. So to sum up this season ... it had two of the hottest girls ever to inhabit a Real World house but all in all was one of the worst seasons I've ever seen.

Other than Julie, is there anyone out their interested in LOST? I'm not going to say much about this show right now because I would have to go on for days. All I'll say is if you don't watch it, you need to start. If you're worried about not having seen previous episodes you can do one of a few things. You can do like me and just jump in. You can fill in the gaps as you go. Or you can buy past episodes for 1 or 2 dollars (can't remember) in iTunes. Or you can buy the complete first season on DVD. Now that I think about it, I think it is $2 on iTunes. In the future they are hoping to offer them through On Demand for $1. Not yet though.

I'm also a fan of West Wing reruns. It's one of the most intelligent shows I've seen and I love the challenge of keeping up with the constant political bantor. It's weird how this season had been building up to finding out who the leak in the White House was. Only a few weeks after Toby admitted to it on the show, almost the exact same story unfolded in real life involving Cheney's Chief of Staff. Weird huh?

As for sitcoms I try to watch Two and a Half Men. That kid kills me. Now that Laguna is over it's time for the next installment of The Gauntlet on MTV. I can't wait to see who gets bitch slapped first.

Finally, my apologies for the lack of recent posts. I was getting the feeling that no one was reading this stuff but now I know my friend Jeremy is a faithful follower so Jeremy, I hope you enjoyed all the meaningless dribble my mouth (or actually fingers since I'm typing). More to come soon.